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chrysea

Independence

Member Since 2005

Followers 32 Following 24

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Monday Oct 24, 2005

Oct 24, 2005
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I'm something wonderful, amazing, when I am shiney and new. But after awhile I lose my appeal, my value. Sorry, I just felt like it needed to rhyme.

Went to the psychic fair Sat. I had every intention of asking them about my social life, but when I got my chance it lost its importance to me so I didn't. What I did ask about was my career and moving. This is basically what I was told....

"I don't see you gravitating towards anything. You're like a feather in the wind, and you are at a standstill. So afraid to take any risks because you're afraid you will fail. But that I can tell you that no matter what path you decide to take careerwise or moving that no 1 decision is going to ruin your life."

Right now, recently, with my pessimism, I get out of that, nothing is going to ruin your life, but nothing is going to make it better, either. My life is at a standstill.

If I can't make any one decision that will ruin my life, then why is it that almost every decision I have made this year has ended up being a mistake? Perhaps because I am forced to dwell on the bad, or perhaps the good eventually lead to bad.

And I am making a mistake in that I am letting this past year and everything I have done in it, the mistakes I have made, etc. shape who I am. I shouldn't let 1 bad year define me, but it is hard. I have had many bad things happen in my life, but for some reason this year has seemed to be the hardest on me emotionally.

I used to be so able to pull my emotions out of things, and for some reason I can't anymore. It's like revenge on all the times I just felt nothing in anything, like now my emotions have to be amplified. but it is weird, 'cause it isn't just my emotions, my senses have been acting weird, and amplified, too.

I don't want to be a feather in the wind...I want to be grounded....I want to be needed, and loved, and important. I don't want to be a drifter. I am so confused and so unhappy, and I can't figure out how to fix it. Everything is right there on the surface, my emotions, ect., but there is nothing inside anymore....

~C~
havok735:
Well, that is an easy one!

You just need to make some decisions for your life and start working doing whatever you need to do to make it all happen!

As the last fortune cookie I got said:

Comfort zones are most often expanded through discomfort.

Since you are having a discomfortable year, why not at least work toward something? It will make you feel a lot better in the end and you will most likely end up being needed, loved, and important!

If that doesn't make you feel better than check out the set that just when up!

http://suicidegirls.com/girls/Posh/photos/Warcraft%20Dreams/
Oct 24, 2005
1luneywolf:
if you constantly look for happyness in others then you will never find it.
Oct 25, 2005

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