"Reality is a cruel and unintuitive place with frustrating gameplay mechanics..."
That's what I've felt like with this year in hindsight. I had quite a bit of fun in the early years, but with girls moving on, finding Arizona uninhabitable, and going to take care of sick relatives, It has felt like an extreme loss in the romance/friend category. also with my job situation bouncing like a basketball, I felt like I couldn't keep a stable grip on things.
The bright sides were hard to find: I can't very well keep track of everything in my own life with my memory and impulse control issues. but once organized, it's easier to see.
every day one of my former companions talks to or texts me. I didn't realize that was happening without the day planner and keeping track of it. Same thing goes for my diet, game planning, and exercise. If I don't spend 30 minutes in the evening planning my next day and WRITING IT DOWN, it doesn't go according to my plan at all.
I went a week without writing in it, and that week was shit. My roomie had to basically help me backtrack everything.
To anyone who has watched Zero Punctuation, you might recognize the opening phrase above from one of his reviews, but that's honestly what it feels like. "Press X to thanklessly toil your life away" feels like what happens unless I make the plan.
But thanks to those plans, I've started to plan out the acts to the video game I've been working on. Things are coming together on it far faster than I thought they might. I've also started hanging around other gaming groups, and they are helping me get a sense to what I can accomplish!
I have finally found my cheat code. That's the brightest thing I could have hoped for in this year.
The love that I have found here as well has been amazing. Thanks to everyone who checks in on me every so often.