chronas

So, after much pain and suffering, I have finally managed to purge my body of the vile sickness that had befallen me. Coming down with a cold is utterly awful, when it only happens to you once every 3 or 4 years.

It seems to have come with some positive reinforcement, however, as I feel rather rested and alive once again... although...

Some part of me, however, can still not shake the thoughts of Alicia.. it's been near 6 months.. and with every breath I take, I taste her.. lingering...

Every thought, voluntary or not, radiates with the warmness that I so dearly miss... a warmth that I have not felt since I had her in my life...

And every moment, I hate it more.

That aside, I've fallen back to the basics that used to drive my being. I finally managed to have the emotional strength to turn on my Itunes and listen. I had a cup of tea, and it hurt a little bit less.

Have any of you ever given up true love for an easier ride? Am I a total buffoon for my choice? Or was I right to maintain a 5 year marriage, over a fling which ultimately my soul mate?

Fuck, I don't know.. but it hurts.. and much to my surprise, it feels amazing... the emotion makes me breathe with new meaning... and daydream forever of what might have been...