christmasjones

Forest of my childhood looks the same
Will I ever get back the moments?
To relive the ignorance of youth
a lonely dreaming boy

My memories resurface
like a murdered face bobs in the lake
It will never be the same
The truth has come under light

Murderous teenage drug rampage
left this adult head in ruins
I won't give up or give in
Not after all you've done for me

Unharmed, no footprints in the snow
I've come back to reflect
All my outcome is taint
and a trail of suspicion

Being a loner why should I write about people?
I never trusted myself since I first gazed into a mirror

Thoughts I shared with you
Oh how the times have changed
You took care of me
Just a relic in solidarity

WIll I die alone? No
Not since I've started holding you
You're my biggest secret, my deepest scar
and favorite lover

There's no mistake nor misdirection
My ignorance led to your temptation
You didn't hurt me as I hurt you
as I burned your leaves down

Thank you for the shortcuts
these paths that led my way
The walls you create that hung
your chirps sung inside my head

All the bloodshed, stains red
Alcohol and girls I wed
Was there time for you?
Am I getting at the truth?

Fuck it, I'm back at least for now
as we reconnect that familiar smile
No more late nights, no more fistfights
Just a breeze, and a touch of hope

Don't want to let go, life sucks
Got to go away for god knows how long
But I'll be back
Every time I sing a song.