I want to go somewhere. I actually AM going somewhere in either February or April, but it will only be for a couple weeks, and both February and April are a long way off, and it will be pretty familiar territory. What I really want to do is just leave everything behind and take off somewhere I've never been and don't know anything about and just find my own way. OK, I promise that is the last time I will ever say "just find my own way." Anyway, I've been thinking that once I'm finished with this internship I'd like to move somewhere that ISN'T Portland or Olympia or Seattle. I think I'd like to get away from this culture. I kind of had Iowa in mind. On the other hand, I kind of want to go back to Olympia very badly. Say what you will, the attitude there is generally much more positive than anywhere else I've lived recently. Sometimes I get this desperate, panicky feeling that if I don't start doing something now, I'll never do anything. I have the next year planned out in a job that holds no real interest for me. And even if it did now, it wouldn't by the time I was finished. I feel like I had so much creative energy when I was younger, and I can't figure out what happened. Or maybe I never did. Maybe I just had a tight enough schedule that it felt like I did. I don't know. I've been making a lot of tentative plans for my semi-distant future recently. It's fun for me. But my amateur analysis tells me this means I'm not satisfied with my present, and this is my way of not dealing with it. Hmmm.
Today I got a TB test and bought clothes. Yay! I got some super cute stuff.
I have a crush on this guy I hardly know named Dave. I wanna watch videos and eat snackies and make out with him.
Here's another: First base second base third base Home Run.
xxxxx
I will get out of bed before noon tomorrow.
Edited for teenage angst-type bullshit.
Today I got a TB test and bought clothes. Yay! I got some super cute stuff.
I have a crush on this guy I hardly know named Dave. I wanna watch videos and eat snackies and make out with him.
Here's another: First base second base third base Home Run.
xxxxx
I will get out of bed before noon tomorrow.
Edited for teenage angst-type bullshit.
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
piningshaft:
you should come here, to portland, right now and meet all of your loving suicidegirls friends.
avanttard:
Yes, you are right. Thank you for being the voice of reason here.