chrisnail_and_i

Let's go back in time a little here...

January 31st: My girlfriend, her two girls (5&7), myself, and my two kids (7&11) all get off the plane in Ghana, West Africa... life as we know it is about to be turned on it's head!!
Ghana has it's beauty but to find it, you have to look a little harder than you might imagine, and the people are super friendly and welcoming, though they are very concious of race and never let you forget (for a second) that you are different. I think it is a good experience to feel like a minority but hearing 50 people call you white, in the span of 10 minutes, gets a little tiresome.
So, right away we all start flipping out on culture shock, crazy heat, gross food, travellers diahrea , lack of regular water supply, constant power outages, need I say more? Yes, yes I do... For the first few weeks, our kids (being the first white students at the school, ever) were chased around the school yard by HUGE packs of kids, wanting to touch their skin, feel their hair, and ask them a million questions... all at the same time! I was then thrown in to teaching computers, headfirst. I had classes of roughly 25 totaly out of control kids at a time, grades 3 to 9. We lived right in the school, and with 515 students (not to mention the fact that Ghanaians are a very loud people), it makes for very noisy living quarters. Anyhow, by the second month 3 of our kids had been really sick with Malaria, one of which, would get it again, 2 months later. By this point my gf and I had not had a break with/from eachother or our kids for 3 months. Combined with that and the various stresses of adjusting, sickness, and stupid bureaucracy, a major toll was being taken on our relationship. Things got really bad to the point of us talking breakup, when it all turned around... but alas, harmony was not as close as it seemed. My gf then came down with Malaria but her case was so severe, I can't tell you how scared I was, it was a miracle that she survived! After she got out of the hospital, we went down to the coast and spent a peaceful week on the beach. By the end of that week, we decided to throw in the towel. We started to plan our return, something that would prove to be stupidly difficult. I can't tell you the stress and dificulty I had to deal with in order to get us back home early. The last week before getting home, I hardly slept, I have Valium to thank for the little that I did get.
So, we arrived in Canada this past Saturday morning (I meant to kiss the ground but was too tired to remember), and the very next day, my gf breaks up with me!
I speant the next couple of days getting her and her girls sorted out in their new digs (My two are still in Ghana with their mom, who came and lived with us for 3 weeks before heading off on their own. A stress factor I forgot to mention earlier). Then my good friend Corey came and picked me up, and he and his family have taken super good care of me since. Well, the plot only thickens... Last night I went to my gf's after a very tough phone call of serious negotiations, and we have come to an agreement to scale back our relationship. We are going to see eachother once or twice a week, nothing heavy or complicated, no day to day domesticity... wow, why didn't I think of this one before? Silly me!! Now the wild (for me) part, we are going to also be open to other people. That is to say, if one or the other of us meets someone we really like, that it is okay to date but if it becomes or looks as if it will become sexual, then we talk to eachother and decide whether we stay together or split. Crazy huh? It feels really good and scarey, all at the same time but I think that we got too deep too fast, and this is where we need to be right now. It will allow us the chance to really do something with our lives, not being all consumed by THE RELATIONSHIP. We love and respect eachother and above all, we want to be happy. Only time will tell if we are doing the right thing but I'll let you know how it goes.

Thanks to all that sent words of support during those few rough days. I'll be around to everybodys journal soon.

So, here I am back on SG. Over the summer you may not see me here much but I will be around. I am moving in with a woman who has a cheap room available. I will get my own place by the end of summer at the latest. My ex-wife has my kids over the summer, allowing me to take the time to get a decent job and apartment, in time to take them again when school starts.

It's good to see and hear from you all again, I said I'd be back and here I am. What can I say, I love this place, the girls, the members, the local SGVic crew... hey, what happened to you guys? I say that it is more than about time SGVic&Van got together, and ripped shit up!!

Edited to say: I know that it sounds like Ghana was nothing but hell but that is more how I'm feeling at this time. Once the dust has settled I'm sure I will look back on it far more fondly. As I said, they are a super friendly culture, and we saw many amazing animals in the wild, the fruit was to die for (the best pineapple I've ever had!), and the beach was truely beautiful! I thought it only fair to add this.