chrishorrorshow

I've been feeling really really shitty the past couple of days. My girl left on this study abroad thing for 5 months on Sunday. I'm pretty torn up right about now, the past 2 days it's seemed like i've been walking around in a daze, doing things at about half speed.

What makes this so bad is that it's not like we broke up, where i could just walk away and be pissed off and only kinda down. She just left, no anger involved, so all i get is the sadness. This is going to be an amazingly hard 5 months.

I've got the worst of all possible outcomes in my head right about now. Despite repeated assurance that things won't go the way i think they will, i'm just not sure. I talked to her on the phone last night...and i'm already getting that voice in my head telling me that things are going to be shitty. I'm sure "I won't drink much" will turn into "I don't even remember what happened last night". Right off the bat, first night there and she's getting into the beer .

I hope i'm overreacting. But this sure does feel like it could be the beginning of the end. I hate the timing in this trip. What nonsense. Were the roles reversed, i wouldn't be headed out of the country. But then, i'm a strange guy when it comes to relationships.

Alright, enough of this. I need to go to work.