Growing older has always unsettled me. I've wasted a bit of my youth worrying about the future: getting old, looking old, being old.
I was 24 when I first posed for SG, back when it was still kinda new, and I was older than a lot of the girls already. I never put my true age on my profile, from day one. Now, I just turned 28 and a lot of the models are a decade younger than me. I've decided I need to stop giving a shit about my age because I want to live, and living means growing older with each passing day.
But I can't seem to help worrying that the way I dress and behave has to change soon because it's not age-appropriate. Should someone who is almost 30 have purple hair? I don't want to be one of those older women who are simply pathetic in their attempts to look younger. But I don't FEEL old. I want to wear tiaras and barrettes and hot pink lipstick and heels with bows on the toes. I want to raise hell and sleep late and not make my bed and drink wine and giggle with my best friend in our jammas. I want to go to strip clubs and tell the girls they look hot without feeling like a pervert. I want to pose naked and go-go dance and still not be quite sure what I want to be when i grow up. It almost feels like my time is running out to live the way I like to live, and that makes something inside me feel very small and sad.
I was 24 when I first posed for SG, back when it was still kinda new, and I was older than a lot of the girls already. I never put my true age on my profile, from day one. Now, I just turned 28 and a lot of the models are a decade younger than me. I've decided I need to stop giving a shit about my age because I want to live, and living means growing older with each passing day.
But I can't seem to help worrying that the way I dress and behave has to change soon because it's not age-appropriate. Should someone who is almost 30 have purple hair? I don't want to be one of those older women who are simply pathetic in their attempts to look younger. But I don't FEEL old. I want to wear tiaras and barrettes and hot pink lipstick and heels with bows on the toes. I want to raise hell and sleep late and not make my bed and drink wine and giggle with my best friend in our jammas. I want to go to strip clubs and tell the girls they look hot without feeling like a pervert. I want to pose naked and go-go dance and still not be quite sure what I want to be when i grow up. It almost feels like my time is running out to live the way I like to live, and that makes something inside me feel very small and sad.
VIEW 25 of 46 COMMENTS
Sod em all I say! Your 28, not 48! do what you like while you have the mind and body to do it. Worry later