chloe

this is going to be one bitchy pissy pissy rant
i'm very fucking dizzy
it's beautiful out and i can't enjoy it
i can't even type, the keys keep moving
6 hours in the emergency room weds night
been sick for a week
antibiotics making me throw up
yeah i'm ok

i'm tired of sleeping
my arms hurt from laying on them
i have had so many fucked up dreams i can't separate reality right now
so tired of being freezing and sweaty
i had to wash a load of pajamas because i sweated through them all
i was so happy i did not get sick this winter
and now here i am

so fucking bored
have barely eaten in a week, not hungry but mind is begging for food
sushisushisushi
and for some reason a craving for bbq chicken and potato salad
but i can't eat
then i will be sick

i am so bored
a million magazines couldn't cure it
the words blur
and the pictures reming me there is life outside my apartment

trying to get some sun and air and there's fucking people everywhere
not that many untis in my apartment building but people everywhere
3 and 4 year olds playing hide and seek
counting like fucking retards
making me want to rip out my hair

isn't it fantastic knowing
your favorite nudie model
is human too? i don't want to share the details
but i am going out of my fucking mind
and this goddamn keyboard is my only contact with the outside world

fucking money
i had put away for (finally!) a new big fantastic tattoo
is now going to rent
for this sick house in which i reside
with ever-bare arms and much resentment

yeah there are many typeos and errors
but fuck it i am not going back

too delerious

and pissed

and sick