My dad's in town for business which is kewl cuz that means we can goto some fancy place and slap it on the ole corporate card 
I was at Subway today and some women saw on my badge my job title. She grabbed me and with the creepiest stare said, "Do you make bombs?" I laughed. Pretty loud too. I politely said "No." And then she sat there waiting for an explanation I guess. All I know is that my 12 inch roast beef on wheat tasted better today than I can ever recollect. And mind you, I have eaten at Subway almost EVERY work day for the last 2.5 years. I walk in and don't say a word. They know exactly what I want and I know exactly how much it cost's ($7.79 w/meal deal). And no my real name is not Jarrod.
WINSTON: What are you carrying, Willy?
WILLY: Er, fertilizer.
WINSTON: You went out six hours ago to buy a money counter and you come back carrying two bags of fertilizer. Alarm bells are ringing, Willy.
WILLY: We need fertilizer, Winston.
WINSTON: We also need a fucking money counter, William! We have to get the money out by Thursday and I'll be buggered if I am counting it... and if you have to get your sodding fertilizer, couldn't you be a little more subtle?
WILLY: What do you mean?
WINSTON: I mean we grow copious amounts of ganja, and you don't look like your average hort-er-fucking-culturalist, that's what I mean, Willy.
I was at Subway today and some women saw on my badge my job title. She grabbed me and with the creepiest stare said, "Do you make bombs?" I laughed. Pretty loud too. I politely said "No." And then she sat there waiting for an explanation I guess. All I know is that my 12 inch roast beef on wheat tasted better today than I can ever recollect. And mind you, I have eaten at Subway almost EVERY work day for the last 2.5 years. I walk in and don't say a word. They know exactly what I want and I know exactly how much it cost's ($7.79 w/meal deal). And no my real name is not Jarrod.
WINSTON: What are you carrying, Willy?
WILLY: Er, fertilizer.
WINSTON: You went out six hours ago to buy a money counter and you come back carrying two bags of fertilizer. Alarm bells are ringing, Willy.
WILLY: We need fertilizer, Winston.
WINSTON: We also need a fucking money counter, William! We have to get the money out by Thursday and I'll be buggered if I am counting it... and if you have to get your sodding fertilizer, couldn't you be a little more subtle?
WILLY: What do you mean?
WINSTON: I mean we grow copious amounts of ganja, and you don't look like your average hort-er-fucking-culturalist, that's what I mean, Willy.
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
hasselhoff:
You should have told her "Yeah I make bombs!" and then laughed manically, pulling a pen out of your pocket and pretended it was some sort of trigger.
marlowe:
I think I see a new magic school bus episode in the making.