chibi_iris

What are you supposed to do when you DON'T know what to do?


I'm only almost nineteen, still not a clue with what the fuck I'm doing with myself... And everyone I know feels the same way... Not that , you know, we all talk about these feelings. It's just noticeable.

Everyone has their own thing to do. But really, what are they doing? Working retail jobs, shitty hospital or security guard jobs that pay high. Most popular amongst our age, serving at restaurants.

We get all excited when we've found a badass job that pays well. You know, so we can pay our car bills, insurance bills, cell phone bills, rent... And blow our money on clothes, shoes, music, uhh alcohol and drugs?

Or maybe become a regular to late night movies or dvds (personal favorites are listing under ADULT SWIM) and don't forget the fact that the people living in the suburbs... We've got Hooka bars, pool halls, and 24 hr diners (oh my) ! YES! No.

Dude. It sucks having to have to blow money every night to do something, or sit in front of a TV for hours to past the time. Or work with anything and everything that has to do with customer service and pleasing a bunch of yuppie parents who're spoiling their bratty kids in some fatting or rich fashion.

Everyone has to know the routine if you live in a place like STERLING FREAKING VIRGINIA or something a like the fast pace but developing area of suburbia where you have to hunt for things to do if you're a nightstalker (and of course, we usually are because we're the people running the stores and restaurants and uh the economy almost, Thank you very much.)

Cops and elders (I'm talking people who look down upon those who are night curious) gives us shit for being out late. WELL MAYBE... We should close our stores and restaurants early so we could catch that five o'clock show that you had time to see. Meh, just a thought.

Don't you ever feel like... Empty... Just waking up. Work nine hours. Five days a week, maybe even six... Or seven... Maybe feel a little bitter because your idea of recreational time or just feeling preoccupied during the wee hours of the night is kindda getting old, a little banal... Like getting drunk every night (juvenile example, but common.) Maybe smoking until you pass out (you know, I know you know.)

Not to mention, living day by day with the "great" deal of money that you're making that you're blowing on the things I mentioned before. Woot and Fucking woot is right.

It's also not endearing that people older are still where I am. Not knowing where they're going...

It may be that, like I mentioned at first, I am only eighteen onto nineteen... And I'm going through something alot of kids are going through. Questions of life, what are you doing, where are you going, are you going to end up like those kids that go no where and stay in their hometowns forever, are the things you do now the things youll do forever...

I also cant help but feel like the younger generations of the present time has gotten lazy and has accomplished less than those before us. A lot of the revolutionary moments in our country either if it was politics or culture or subculture (70's) were all movements by the youth.

I have yet to see that happen now, especially since so many people think there was supposed to be a liberal swing. I still see us kids resting in the nests of our older generations--hence the presence of the major conservative enthusiasm (hate to say it, but it showed up in our election... Don't give me any excuses, thatll be a different argument.)

*Huff* Sorry, That was a lot of venting.