chi

We have a roommate as of today. I should be more happier, but some things are more important in my head right now then others.

I got car insurance. Again, I should be much more happier about the fact that I can now get it re-registered.
But it just made me more broke and in debt.

My cousin from WA. called this morning. Grandparents have been aparently asking about me. Most likely because of my mom. I cant bare the fact of thinking how she's doing. She kept asking me if I still loved her. Like she's been abandoned. Sad thing is, its exactly what im doing to her. I spoke with her twice since she moved to the new place...and I cant get the strength to call her again. I break every time I hear her cry. Thats my mom. I still call her "Mommy" for fuck's sake. It shouldnt be this way.....but I shouldnt be acting this way either.
..... Sometimes....I just need you to be there.

I can only dream of a time where things are well, and Im actually happy. Content even. In all aspects of my life.