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chesca

Member Since 2005

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Tuesday Jul 08, 2008

Jul 8, 2008
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Wow, so bad at updating again! And even worse at actually commenting on blogs - apologies! Seem to only get the odd 5 minutes to spend not looking for a job/career/campaign material!

Cross fingers will get my contract extended this week, otherwise I've got to find something new again. Which gets me back to the question of what do I want to do?! If only I knew! I don't want to be in stop gaps all my life, yes I realise I'm only 23 but part of me yearns to be settled for a bit as much as part of me feels trapped by living conventionally.

Still plenty to keep me occupied, perhaps a little too occupied! Trying to get people's arses in gear over the amnesty events - nightmare. Even more of a nightmare is getting solictiors to cooperate with me but meh! Had an awesome night with my girl Rachelle last week. Cooked great food, watched an awesome movie and you guessed it... cocktails!

Met up with the boy... but didn't have a chat with him like I planned. Too stubborn to give him up, too scared to know what he's actually thinking - probably because I already know. I know the last thing I need is for my heart to be strung along like this again but what can I say? I seem to be attracted to guys who don't want me but waste a whole lot of enegy convincing them they do. I'm my own worst enemy and I know it, I don't want to be just the right girl at the right time, someone who just happened to be there. I want someone to want me for who I am no persuasion... or coercision, who more acurately I want to want someone who wants me for who I am! biggrin

I'm down about the atrocious state of my love life though, I've become almost too used to my freedom, but I do worry I'm letting the past colour my outlook to much. Or maybe I'm just caught up in a cycle of history repeating itself? Who knows! I can ponder that one forever but I don't have the time!

So I bid you adieu, and hopefully I can find a bit more time for these pages again soon! kiss
aesirr:
Fingers duly crossed my dear. I bet you will find that someone eventually, hopefully I will too.
Jul 8, 2008
aesirr:
Well I might see what happens lol. Im sure you aren't all that bad lol.
Jul 11, 2008

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