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cherrylenses

Manchester, NH

Member Since 2004

Followers 20 Following 23

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Sunday Jan 07, 2007

Jan 7, 2007
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I think I'm dating my twin personality.

He's like me in a lot of ways and in a lot of other ways, he's what I want to be.

It's very refreshing to meet someone new. I didn't want a relationship because I knew I would have been dating someone I've known for a while, someone that was there for my past bad times and past good times, and would know too much about me.

With Nate (the twin personality), he doesn't know about my past, good or bad, unless I tell him. And that gives us an opportunity to create our own good and bad pasts. Believe me, that's already started to happen. Between break downs and slips of bad habits, we're learning a lot more about each other every day.

I always thought relationships should be based on how much you know about the other person. That if you know a lot about the person, that will lead to a good relationship and not knowing a lot about them means you won't know anything. I'm starting to learn otherwise. He's making me learn so much more, about himself and myself, and the world around us. He doesn't make me feel stupid or not smart enough with the knowledge he has, he just makes me yearn to learn more.

He rolls his own cigarettes, he smokes a lot of ganja, he loves mushrooms and acid.

I love the smell of his hand rolled cigarettes, and I love watching him roll them. I also love the smokey smell they leave in his long hair. Smoking ganja with him leaves both of us extraordinarily happy and wanting each other like no one's business. He wants me to try mushrooms and acid with him, and I'm excited for it and scared of it at the same time. My drug resume doesn't go beyond ganja smoking and a pain killer addiction.

He's a pacifist. He's calm. He has problems, but I think I'm beginning to love him. He's exactly what I've always wanted, but too afraid to ask for.

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