cherrylenses

Lately, I feel like I just want to give up on everything.

Fuck:
school
life
Mike
everything i stand for
everything i think
everything i love
everything i hate
everything i have ever done
everything i will do
every mistake i've made
every resolution i will follow through with
i want to scream
i want to destroy
i want to fight
i want to love
i want to be loved
i want to draw
i want to write
i want to smoke (weed and cigarettes)
i want to drink (alcohol)
i want to kiss
i want to fuck
i want to argue
i want to laugh (without it being forced)
i want to hurt
i want to soothe

And that doesn't even BEGIN to cover how I feel. I just want to yell a big FUCK YOU to everyone and everything today. But somehow, that just wouldn't be enough.

What's wrong with me?

I have no idea why I feel this way, but right about now, I just want to take a lot of drugs and kiss the pathetic world good bye.

Suicide threat?

HA.

Not even close.

This is just the desperate thoughts of a girl who has run out of ideas for her life.

I don't want to follow through with any of my plans. I don't want to continue. If life, if the world, if everything just STOPPED right now, I would be perfectly happy with it.

Why?

I wish I could tell you, but I have no fucking idea.