cherrycyanide

I need to buy new conditioner.

I used this optimum stuff at Sharia's moms house and it made my hair like ten times healthier then it was before. And I only used it twice! I was so amazed.

It smells like bubbles though... like... tons of little bitty bubble bath bubbles. Without the bubble gum or your choice of fruity scents added to it..

I miss shannon. Every time I call her no one picks up. She calls me back but I'm never home. Fucking phone tag.

My mom had a dream early last week that Terri shavo died and the pope and my grandfather all in one week.

This is significant because -this week- two of the three are gone and the last is in the hospital sick as hell.

I'm going out there on wed. I'm scared though because my grandpa is the fine thread that holds our family togather and I think when that is gone we won't see very much of each other, let alone talk ot one another. And holidays will NEVER be the same again without my grandpa there. The little drummer boy will probibly make me cry every christmas. Fishermen in their gear and boats will too I'm sure. My summer lake cabin will never feel right again. Hell it's bad enough my grandmother has it looking like a shabbie sheek single woman of her FIFTIES house already. It's horrible really, it is.

I'm getting my hair braided all summer long I decided. Because it's the best way to be able to keep it healthy and let it grow I think. I'm going to go buy beads and conditioner and rubber bands this morning.

I'm going to put stars and neon colored beads in it again. It was ugly as hell the first time but I liked it so I don't care if it's ugly. :p Besides -I'm- a lot cuter now then I used to be, so niner.

Sprrout is arguing with amber again. Sort of. It makes me upset, because all it does is make him upset and dig him in a deeper harder to get out of hole with her. And that's just stupid. Sometimes you have to do things that make absolutely no sence in your relm of logic to do what you need. Like with his child. He's never going to see his child if he doesn't drop his little grudge and start being nice to her. It also hurts my feelings because I can totally empathize with Amber. I know how she feels to an extent. I know the motions of being broken hearted. SHe needs him to forgive her for what she did to him. And he needsto apologize for what he did to her. Although he doesn't see it as if he did anything wrong at all. And therein lies the problem. I miss her a lot but the woman I cared about it obviously not in there anymore. I saw her this weekend and the next night I cried when everyone went to sleep because I miss that friend, I miss that person. But she's gone...well not completely. She's just different. She's doing so well for herself. I'm proud of her.

She's attacking me now though :

abandon_fetus : Tell Sprout if he ever emails me again Im going to break more than his password!
torn_smile: Why, realistically, would I actually go to him and say something like that?
abandon_fetus : Well don't say I didn't try to warn you people. HE NEEDS TO LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!!!!!!!!!! FOREVER!
torn_smile: I am not a "you people" And you don't need to warn me of anything Amber. You can be mad at sprout without taking it out on me.
torn_smile: I can't make him do -anything- or he would be trying to be your friend right now insted of the asshole that he is to you.
abandon_fetus : I dont need his or anyone elses friendship for that matter. You don't realize how fucked up it sounds to me when you bitch about how Jackie isnt a LOYAL friend. Your the biggest back stabber I know, and whats your excuse. You didn't see me as a friend??? Well apparently Sprout didn't see me as a girlfriend either. You prance around wearing my fucking watch. There are still traces of me all over Sprout! You talk about living together, when you've both made it much harder for me to live on my own. No matter how much you say you care you dont! You still owe me money you make NO attempt to pay back. Not even a miesely 10 bucks just to show you give a fuck! YOU BUY WEED AND ALCOHOL! YOU PEOPLE DISGUST ME! Im sick of pretending like I'n not hurt. You've both ruined my life!
torn_smile: I don't -have- money to give you Amber. I have expences for -life- that come before my debt. However when I have a STEADY job you will get your money, most of it at once I'm sure. I know you're hurt. But I did not ruine your life. I didn't tell him to leave you alone. I told him to call you. I told him that he was going to get back with you because I knew he loved you and I knew you loved him and that you needed him, especially right now. No one ruined your life but YOU amber. You can't put blame on anyone for your fucked up life then anyone. You as well as us made those bills so high, thus it is your fault just as much as mine that I owe youmoney. YOU as well as jermaine weren't responcible about your sex life. Thus it is your fault as much as his that you're pregnant. YOU told him to
torn_smile: leave you alone and didn't specify that you ment for a little while or not at all for that matter. That makes it your fault he didn't want to be with you anymore. You're the one that argued with him every time you spoke to him damn near for about a month before he took you as broken up. Not me. Not me Amber. I didn't ruin SHIT