cherrycyanide

It's funny.

physically and emotionally I still feel just as fat as I did last year.

I feel like certian things are still inapropriate for me to do/ware. Like I am still uncomfortible dancing, even though I do think it's fun it's extremely uncomfortible because I feel fat and nasty. Just little things like that..

And yet we have these huge bath towels. That when we got them, and I was really huge...they only fit togather at the very top, at the side and my hip and down on that side would always be visible. They bairly fit. and forget about the smaller ones. Those were worthless. Any ways yesterday I took a nice long shower and grabbed one of the huge towels... and it nearly doubled around me.

I weighed myself and I was about two fifty two.

I was so smilie.

I'm so proud of that shit and I can see it when I look at myself but yet I still feel like when I move people are staring at my fat. That people still see me and go "ew that fat bitch"... irrational I know. But I can't help it.