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cherrycyanide

Minneapolis

Member Since 2003

Followers 26 Following 34

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Tuesday Dec 07, 2004

Dec 7, 2004
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So. Stuff with dre is better. He's nicer now. But I still feel disposible to most people. My friend and potential boyfriend Ben scolded me and helped me work out a deal for a computer so I can move out and stuff which makes me feel a little less pressured and stressed.

I really wish Dre would quit fucking around thouhg. I want him more and more every day and it's fucked up. I hate feeling like this really I do. But I can't help it. He makes me feel so amazing. And on top of it I have all these extra hormones and shit and so I'm like constantly horny...like -all- the time.

We're going to go see blade three tonight he's paying for my ticket and I'm excited to go with him. I'm half hoping linnea does go and half hoping she doesnt. Dre acts more distant when she's around so that's bad but at the same time she's so much fun.

Dre and I had a thing this weekend...
we argued slightly, little spat cause he told me to go away and I said no cause Iw as trying to talk to sprout, when we were in his bedroom. and when I got pissed I was going to get up and leave he grabbed me around the shoulders so I couldn't get up and was all "No matter fat or thin I'd pump you long and hard if I got the urge." And I was like "Whatever dre" and he continued like he didn't really hear me" And here youre trying to seduce me. " and I was all " Fuck you, I'm in here to talk to Sprout dude." And he was like "remember, I'm holding back" and that's when I stopped listening I was so pissed off and he then let me up and leave.

So yeahI donno what to do here anymore. I want to wait for him but I don't want to be alone. But I know if I get a boyfriend it'll close off any possability with him.

Tomorrow I go register at summit academy OIC for classes so I can get a better job and stuff and move out. Five months...I can do that.

Anyway I'm going to go see blade three tonight with Dre. I'm excited. I have nothing else to say, later.
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
sydni:
wow, thanks so much for writing that in my journal. good luck on your journey as well.

like velvet said, never wait for a guy. He should be falling all over himself to be around you. And you have to believe that you are worth it. Because you are. And the only man that deserves you is someone that makes you feel like a princess, and nothing less.
and sure, you don't want to be alone. but being alone is a fantastic option when someone isn't coming up to your level. Start treating yourself better and men will step up to the plate. And if they don't, well, fuck em! wink

take care sweets! and follow your bliss. kiss
Dec 8, 2004
pcx:
i called u yesterday but u where out but ill call u agian tomarrow love u your lover johnny tsunami!!!!
Dec 9, 2004

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