cherrycyanide

It's funny how some people think things are one way, and as long as you allow them to think that way, they continue to do so. Despite it being a bit obvious that it isn't that way any longer.

I have a friend now, that I don't even really consider a friend... It's that digusting little goth boy I was enamoured with not too long ago.

Well to make a long story short he fucked me over and I got over it quicker then I thought I would.

And now he and I are friends again and he wonders if things are the way they were. I tell him I don't know. But I do.

THey aren't.

I loathe him despite tolorating him. I am using him. Worse then he used me. I get sex and a place to sleep when I don't wanna be at home... And he gets? Nothing really... sex that's all. not real friendship. I don't agree with anything he says or any of his opinions. I don't support him in much of anything...and I really have a huge disdane in him.

I used to love touching him... I used to love to have him in my mouth. I used to give him backrubs for a long time... because I loved him and his skin felt wonderful to me and so I was entertained. And now...it's boring. I don't know. I just do it to perpetuate his illusion.

Does this make me a bad person? I don't know... I think he diserves it to be honest...so whatever.