My boy from mars told the story of his car crash tonight. "floor floor floor, sky sky sky, floor floor floor, tree, sky sky" and how his mother climbed back into the car to rescue the fluffy dice which was splattered with his friend's blood. That's how incredible this guy is; he can make a car crash fucking hilarious 
Woody totally made my day when he told us he'd corrected the spelling of graffitti saying "erection" on the mens room wall. It'd been spelled with only one R and he added a second and wrote underneath "two R's you dumb fuck". he was pretty humiliated when I told him there's only one R in erection. I shouted to the whole pub "Woody can't spell erection!!" and he replied "At least I can have one!!" which such a fantastically nonsensicle retort I gave him a round of applause for cracking me up
Woody totally made my day when he told us he'd corrected the spelling of graffitti saying "erection" on the mens room wall. It'd been spelled with only one R and he added a second and wrote underneath "two R's you dumb fuck". he was pretty humiliated when I told him there's only one R in erection. I shouted to the whole pub "Woody can't spell erection!!" and he replied "At least I can have one!!" which such a fantastically nonsensicle retort I gave him a round of applause for cracking me up