Bear with me, this one is going to be pretty long.
Because of an earlier post on the boards I've been thinking about the two major heartbreaks of my life. I'm too young to have a top five. I have a top two. So This will be a too part series.
The first was Steve. We met in high school. He was my one huge high school crush, you know, the one everyone has. My senior year we became good friends and eventually lovers. We were not dating, per se. Just fucking. It very on again, off again and I really never knew where I stood with him, but to a 17 year old that is pretty romantic, though it did hurt. I felt like putting up with it was part of love. He used to call me drunk in the middle of the night, and I'd sneak out with him and get drunk and fuck him.
Around the same time, because we were not exclusive and I was an adventurous girl, I was having a similar affair with a mutual friend of ours named Justin. Neither knew about the other, though I made no secret of it. After all, neither affair was exclusive.
Eventually they did find out about each other and Steve asked me to be his girlfriend and break it off with Justin. This wasn't a problem because I had just found out that Justin had had a girlfriend, who was 15, that he never told me about. He had been cheating on her up until a month before, when he dumped her because she wouldn't put out. He was a dick. (He also asked my best friend to prom later and when I asked him he said it was because she was virgin and he didn't want to be seen in public with a slut like me. And I was naked in bed with him for that conversation. TOTAL DICK.)
Anyway, towards the end of the year, Steve and I became a couple, but he never took me anywhere public and he never acknowledged me at school. I didn't mind because he was... well, him. He was to me, Brilliant, and charming and well read and chivalrous and great in bed. We both liked PJ Harvey and Muddy Waters. He read philosophy. We could lay in bed for hours talking about Nietzche. It was a dream come true and I didn't care if he was ashamed of me. It was beautiful and I was completely in love. Some of the most romantic moments of life were with him. At the end of the summer he moved to California to go to UCLA and I moved to Austin. We broke up, but it wasn't so bad because we kept in touch. We both agreed to see other people, though I didn't for quite awhile.
When we were both in town we hung out a lot, we kept fucking when we could. Until one night, he told me had a confession and needed my advice. He told me that whole way through our relationship he had been sleeping with his ex girlfriend, who he was in love with, but she had found out about me at didn't want anything to do with him. He asked me a woman's opinion on how to get her back. I told him to take me home and to never call me again.
After that I slept with about three of his friends. (it was cheap I know, but I was young and hurt!) He called me one day and we had a huge fight about it and he told he still loved me, that he wanted me back. I told him off but we talked every once in awhile after that. I still loved him, despite everything. But as we talked and I grew up I began to see what a fucking pretentious ass he was and I began to find out more about the girls he was fucking while he was with me.
I last spoke to him about 6 months ago. He called me, drunk as hell, (I do believe that he is an alcoholic at this point) and begged me to take him back and promising he wouldn't treat me the way he used to ever again. I told him never to call again and hung up. I immediately threw up too, thats how visceral he was to me. He hasn't tried to contact me again, thank god.
And there is part one of the top break ups/ heart aches. Sorry for length but it felt good to get that out.
Because of an earlier post on the boards I've been thinking about the two major heartbreaks of my life. I'm too young to have a top five. I have a top two. So This will be a too part series.
The first was Steve. We met in high school. He was my one huge high school crush, you know, the one everyone has. My senior year we became good friends and eventually lovers. We were not dating, per se. Just fucking. It very on again, off again and I really never knew where I stood with him, but to a 17 year old that is pretty romantic, though it did hurt. I felt like putting up with it was part of love. He used to call me drunk in the middle of the night, and I'd sneak out with him and get drunk and fuck him.
Around the same time, because we were not exclusive and I was an adventurous girl, I was having a similar affair with a mutual friend of ours named Justin. Neither knew about the other, though I made no secret of it. After all, neither affair was exclusive.
Eventually they did find out about each other and Steve asked me to be his girlfriend and break it off with Justin. This wasn't a problem because I had just found out that Justin had had a girlfriend, who was 15, that he never told me about. He had been cheating on her up until a month before, when he dumped her because she wouldn't put out. He was a dick. (He also asked my best friend to prom later and when I asked him he said it was because she was virgin and he didn't want to be seen in public with a slut like me. And I was naked in bed with him for that conversation. TOTAL DICK.)
Anyway, towards the end of the year, Steve and I became a couple, but he never took me anywhere public and he never acknowledged me at school. I didn't mind because he was... well, him. He was to me, Brilliant, and charming and well read and chivalrous and great in bed. We both liked PJ Harvey and Muddy Waters. He read philosophy. We could lay in bed for hours talking about Nietzche. It was a dream come true and I didn't care if he was ashamed of me. It was beautiful and I was completely in love. Some of the most romantic moments of life were with him. At the end of the summer he moved to California to go to UCLA and I moved to Austin. We broke up, but it wasn't so bad because we kept in touch. We both agreed to see other people, though I didn't for quite awhile.
When we were both in town we hung out a lot, we kept fucking when we could. Until one night, he told me had a confession and needed my advice. He told me that whole way through our relationship he had been sleeping with his ex girlfriend, who he was in love with, but she had found out about me at didn't want anything to do with him. He asked me a woman's opinion on how to get her back. I told him to take me home and to never call me again.
After that I slept with about three of his friends. (it was cheap I know, but I was young and hurt!) He called me one day and we had a huge fight about it and he told he still loved me, that he wanted me back. I told him off but we talked every once in awhile after that. I still loved him, despite everything. But as we talked and I grew up I began to see what a fucking pretentious ass he was and I began to find out more about the girls he was fucking while he was with me.
I last spoke to him about 6 months ago. He called me, drunk as hell, (I do believe that he is an alcoholic at this point) and begged me to take him back and promising he wouldn't treat me the way he used to ever again. I told him never to call again and hung up. I immediately threw up too, thats how visceral he was to me. He hasn't tried to contact me again, thank god.
And there is part one of the top break ups/ heart aches. Sorry for length but it felt good to get that out.
VIEW 24 of 24 COMMENTS
umanam:
you are far too unique to be a commodity, with your magic and charm, I need a smoke
living_dead_boy:
just remember, he's a douchekabob and I still heart you