I had a strange day, a day that has forced me to consider a trend that has followed my entire life.
This afternoon my office went to lunch with a drug rep at a pretty good restaurant around the corner from my office. It was fun, and good. The rep was nice, we talked politics since all present were like minded. All was well. Then the waitress comes up and explains that a gentleman at a nearby table had wanted her to give me a note. She was embarressed. I smiled graciously, thanked her and read it. It was, of course, a phone number, with a note about how he noticed me and I had lovely smile. I was flattered of course and dropped it in my purse to throw away later, being taken and all. The strange thing about this is how frequently it's been happening lately. I assumed that after 18/19 my attractiveness would plateau and then start to wane in my late 20s, I didn't expect to be hit on so much more at this point in my life. It's constant. I get at least 4 or 5 numbers a week, and 10x as many compliments and winks, Either from patients at work or when I'm out like today. What gives? Why me instead of the girls I work with? They are all thin and attractive!
Second event- I was in Biology this afternoon and this girl who sits next to me commented that I hadn't been there on monday, I laughed and said that i had to work late, (the truth) and she pushed it and said "Well, if you're gonna miss class i guess your grade will reflect that" in a smug and bitchy way, and then pushed it saying "it's important to me to get an A in this class. What do you want to make?". I was shocked. Who would say something that rude to a complete stranger? (Quick profile- Shes about 30, 300+ lbs and applying to the nursing program) I brushed it off to be polite and went on. We got our tests back. She bragged about her 80 for awhile and then asked what I made. i showed her my 98. Then we went on to lab. She asked to copy my paper, I gave it to her, graciously. I hoped she would get the idea that it was impolite to comment on my absence in such a condesending way when I was obviously doing well in the class. When the teacher asked us to answer the questions aloud, she yelled out my answers at top volume and when the teacher confirmed that it was correct she yelled out, "Oh! I got that one right too!" I almost stabbed her in the throat. Shes been a bitch to me since the begining of class and i've never been anything but nice to her. I don't get it.
The tie in-- Since I was a little kid men have loved me and women have hated me. I've had very few relationships with women. The most recent being my best friend in high school. That friendship ended when I found out that she had started a rumor that i was having an affair with a teacher at my school that I admired. This rumor reached the principal and I was called into the office and questioned about the nature of our relationship. I told the truth and the whole thing was dropped, but, He could have lost his job and I did lose all respect from the entire class and the teachers. This is not an isolated incident. I hear about stories good friends have been spreading all the time, most to do with my sexual character, all false. Generally women that i know casually in school treat me coldly or they act that woman in my class tonight. The only exception seems to be my co-workers. They are very nice and we get along quite well, we do not discuss anything of depth though. I generally don't discuss anything at work. I generally keep my head down and get my shit taken care of and then go home.
I have, on the other hand, always got on well with men. Men always like me. I've been approached by men my whole life, though more frequently than usual these days, and i've had predominatly male friends. Male friends last longer are more loyal and generally much more caring and supportive when I'm need of care and support.
What is wrong with me? Am I just a man's woman? A gay friend of mine used to call it a 'Jean Harlow effervecence' (sic.) that attracts men and makes me more attractive, and that in turn makes women's cattiness and jealousy come out with claws. I don't think thats i good answer. I don't think women are jealous of me, I think there is just something about me that makes them hate me.
Oh, and for the record, I've never even dated a friends ex, much less stolen a guy. I've never spread a rumor or talked about anyone behind their back, I've never told a lie about another person or their actions. I just don't know what it is about me that brings this out.
Thats longwinded enough for today. Thanks for listening. I love you guys!!
This afternoon my office went to lunch with a drug rep at a pretty good restaurant around the corner from my office. It was fun, and good. The rep was nice, we talked politics since all present were like minded. All was well. Then the waitress comes up and explains that a gentleman at a nearby table had wanted her to give me a note. She was embarressed. I smiled graciously, thanked her and read it. It was, of course, a phone number, with a note about how he noticed me and I had lovely smile. I was flattered of course and dropped it in my purse to throw away later, being taken and all. The strange thing about this is how frequently it's been happening lately. I assumed that after 18/19 my attractiveness would plateau and then start to wane in my late 20s, I didn't expect to be hit on so much more at this point in my life. It's constant. I get at least 4 or 5 numbers a week, and 10x as many compliments and winks, Either from patients at work or when I'm out like today. What gives? Why me instead of the girls I work with? They are all thin and attractive!
Second event- I was in Biology this afternoon and this girl who sits next to me commented that I hadn't been there on monday, I laughed and said that i had to work late, (the truth) and she pushed it and said "Well, if you're gonna miss class i guess your grade will reflect that" in a smug and bitchy way, and then pushed it saying "it's important to me to get an A in this class. What do you want to make?". I was shocked. Who would say something that rude to a complete stranger? (Quick profile- Shes about 30, 300+ lbs and applying to the nursing program) I brushed it off to be polite and went on. We got our tests back. She bragged about her 80 for awhile and then asked what I made. i showed her my 98. Then we went on to lab. She asked to copy my paper, I gave it to her, graciously. I hoped she would get the idea that it was impolite to comment on my absence in such a condesending way when I was obviously doing well in the class. When the teacher asked us to answer the questions aloud, she yelled out my answers at top volume and when the teacher confirmed that it was correct she yelled out, "Oh! I got that one right too!" I almost stabbed her in the throat. Shes been a bitch to me since the begining of class and i've never been anything but nice to her. I don't get it.
The tie in-- Since I was a little kid men have loved me and women have hated me. I've had very few relationships with women. The most recent being my best friend in high school. That friendship ended when I found out that she had started a rumor that i was having an affair with a teacher at my school that I admired. This rumor reached the principal and I was called into the office and questioned about the nature of our relationship. I told the truth and the whole thing was dropped, but, He could have lost his job and I did lose all respect from the entire class and the teachers. This is not an isolated incident. I hear about stories good friends have been spreading all the time, most to do with my sexual character, all false. Generally women that i know casually in school treat me coldly or they act that woman in my class tonight. The only exception seems to be my co-workers. They are very nice and we get along quite well, we do not discuss anything of depth though. I generally don't discuss anything at work. I generally keep my head down and get my shit taken care of and then go home.
I have, on the other hand, always got on well with men. Men always like me. I've been approached by men my whole life, though more frequently than usual these days, and i've had predominatly male friends. Male friends last longer are more loyal and generally much more caring and supportive when I'm need of care and support.
What is wrong with me? Am I just a man's woman? A gay friend of mine used to call it a 'Jean Harlow effervecence' (sic.) that attracts men and makes me more attractive, and that in turn makes women's cattiness and jealousy come out with claws. I don't think thats i good answer. I don't think women are jealous of me, I think there is just something about me that makes them hate me.
Oh, and for the record, I've never even dated a friends ex, much less stolen a guy. I've never spread a rumor or talked about anyone behind their back, I've never told a lie about another person or their actions. I just don't know what it is about me that brings this out.
Thats longwinded enough for today. Thanks for listening. I love you guys!!
VIEW 16 of 16 COMMENTS
(1) I'm totally hot.
(2) It's not their fault they're hot.
(3) It's completely silly.
But I've had boyfriend issues that are hard to get over... so when I feel threatened in that way it kind of consumes me. I don't, however, take it out on them. I've met a lot of great women I think are more attractive than I am. Honestly, I think the aggression comes from the assumption that YOU think you're more attractive than them. Once they realize you don't feel that way, it should be better.
The funny thing? Other people have told me about dirty looks I get from women (and interested looks from men) over my boobs. I NEVER notice it... guess I've blocked it out over the years. So I guess I'm on both sides of that fence.