Took going home to make me realize that this no longer was, and now I actually miss home. Go figure. The vacation was to last a week, Wed through Wed, and I have to say, it started off amazing. First day hung out with one of my best friends that came all the way to indianapolis from the Middle of Ohio because she was feeling down, and needed someone to just be around. So I took her around the city and got her cheered up, at least, as much as one probibly could given the circumstances. Friday was amazing too. Spent it with a girl that i've always really liked, up in chicago. Now, she LIVES in Chicago, yet I had to help her with so many firsts it wasn't funny. She'd never had a Chicago style hot dog. Never had a deep Dish pizza, never been in the city after sunset, etc. Fixed all that. started at the Museum of Sci and Industry, which is still, by far, one of the most amazing places I've ever been. Kudos to them. Not only do I have a want to actually go back up there and live again, but I also want to be a lifetime member of the museum. Afterwards, we finally hunted down a hot dog, thanks to Byron's, and she got to have a taste of real chicago. Afterwards off to Millenium park, did a shoot with the big reflective bean, and the skaters down below. But it was also 14 degrees out, so that was unfortunetly short lived. Ended the night over at Geno's East, where she finally got to see what pizza was supposed to taste like.
Yeah, the rest of the week, not so amazing. Which is sad, because Saturday I had my daughters, first time really seeing them in a year. We went out to the Museum of Art, which they loved, much to the surprise of the rest of my family. adn then picked up dinner at my favorite Drive in place, came back to the hotel, and laid on the bed watching tv and movies. But it remnded me of just how far apart our lives have shifted. I still love them more than anything, and they love me, trust me, I am fully aware of that. But really I felt so damn distant it wasn't funny. they have thier mom here, and her new man, whom they also apparently refer to as daddy. First time I heard that, reality crept up on me and reminded me that while we might all still love each other, I was no longer as needed as I once was. I'm ok with that though, I do know they are still better off...somehow. One day that might change, and we'll work on that when we get to that point. For now though, i wouldn't be able to raise them on my own.
Since saturday, I've pretty much been snowed in to my room, here to deal with my own feelings and locked off from the ret of the world. I miss home, I miss my friends, I miss a couple people who have suddenly started having a much bigger impact on my life than I could've expected, and that is a situation that really needs my full attention to try to figure out where life is going, because one thing is for sure...it is definetly going somewhere. Hey, it could be a short trip, but always just have to take that chance, ya know?
Meanwhile, there's the whole business thing. Which, if I can keep it upright, which is going to take a lot of work I belive because, seriously, I'm dealing with photographers, which means artists, which means...well, anyone in this profession knows...I care about both of my business partners dearly, so it's going to take some work to make sure that fractures don't start occuring in our business model and that we all unify for the same goal. if that can be done then i promise that big things will be able to come out of it. Look for more information and details regarding the new website and such here soon. Must keep moving forward, it's the only direction I have left. I refuse to back up anymore.
so, yeah, this one feels a little more doom and gloom than my other blogs, which is ok, wether you are reading the unabridged version, or the redacted, thank you for your time. Hopefully here soon I'll be able to start blogging on a more frequent scale, and hopefully with a brighter motif. Moving forward.
-Josh
*raises a toast* Here's to another year of getting older. Apparently I celebrate via depressing blog. lol
Yeah, the rest of the week, not so amazing. Which is sad, because Saturday I had my daughters, first time really seeing them in a year. We went out to the Museum of Art, which they loved, much to the surprise of the rest of my family. adn then picked up dinner at my favorite Drive in place, came back to the hotel, and laid on the bed watching tv and movies. But it remnded me of just how far apart our lives have shifted. I still love them more than anything, and they love me, trust me, I am fully aware of that. But really I felt so damn distant it wasn't funny. they have thier mom here, and her new man, whom they also apparently refer to as daddy. First time I heard that, reality crept up on me and reminded me that while we might all still love each other, I was no longer as needed as I once was. I'm ok with that though, I do know they are still better off...somehow. One day that might change, and we'll work on that when we get to that point. For now though, i wouldn't be able to raise them on my own.
Since saturday, I've pretty much been snowed in to my room, here to deal with my own feelings and locked off from the ret of the world. I miss home, I miss my friends, I miss a couple people who have suddenly started having a much bigger impact on my life than I could've expected, and that is a situation that really needs my full attention to try to figure out where life is going, because one thing is for sure...it is definetly going somewhere. Hey, it could be a short trip, but always just have to take that chance, ya know?
Meanwhile, there's the whole business thing. Which, if I can keep it upright, which is going to take a lot of work I belive because, seriously, I'm dealing with photographers, which means artists, which means...well, anyone in this profession knows...I care about both of my business partners dearly, so it's going to take some work to make sure that fractures don't start occuring in our business model and that we all unify for the same goal. if that can be done then i promise that big things will be able to come out of it. Look for more information and details regarding the new website and such here soon. Must keep moving forward, it's the only direction I have left. I refuse to back up anymore.
so, yeah, this one feels a little more doom and gloom than my other blogs, which is ok, wether you are reading the unabridged version, or the redacted, thank you for your time. Hopefully here soon I'll be able to start blogging on a more frequent scale, and hopefully with a brighter motif. Moving forward.
-Josh
*raises a toast* Here's to another year of getting older. Apparently I celebrate via depressing blog. lol