cheech

My grandmother (fathers side) died last night. Id like to say that we were close, but we werent. I didnt make any effort to stay in touch with her over the last several years and when I was finally getting around to caring enough about family she had lost her memory. When I heard she had Alzheimers symptoms, I figured I shouldnt bother to try to writer or call

I really wish I had. In fact, Im wondering in what universe I wouldve thought it was a good idea not to try contacting her at that point. When people are losing their minds, their self, thats likely when they need someone familiar to reach out to them the most.

I just feel very stupid tonight. But I dont want to publicly beat myself up; thats just self-indulgent, and avoids the main point, which is- I should learn from this. I should stay in touch with people who mean something to me. Ive always been afraid of talking to most people, because I feel I dont know what to say, or theyll think Im weird but sometimes the worst thing to say is nothing.

My father took a flight down to see her yesterday. At least he saw her, although the last few days she was pretty much unable to talk, see, do anything.

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Yesterday, I went to my friend Mikes. Things went pretty well. His older son, whos two, was acting up a bit. A bit more of the headstrong thing this weekend hes had a cold, and earache, which is part of it, knocking off his sleep schedule. The baby, Sammy, he still seems pretty serious, although hell return a smile often. He spits, blows raspberries, and salivates a lot. Did Freud ever mention a spit stage of development?
I hung out with them plus three young nephews this morning/noon. We watched the last hour of Drumline on cable. Normally, I dont like joining movies in the middle, but it seemed to follow a perfect arc, making me wonder if its a sixty minute movie.?? Nah, couldnt beanyway, it was cool. I would probably have never chosen it in a video store, but you know, expand your horizons and you can find some good films.
We then were playing video games well, they were, then they roped me in. I have no idea what game it was; it was some kinda cross between a Dungeons & Dragons type thing and a sci-fi thing I probably just described every video game that doesnt involve stealing cars or skateboarding.