Okay, I wrote some stuff about me. First off, I don't want my message last time to make anyone think I won't miss you on SG. If I put you on my Friends list, that means I will miss you. I will be perfectly available on email, MySpace, LiveJournal, and in person (depending on time/ location of us at that point in time). I certainly hope to be invited to cool parties, shows, and things- HINT AS IN DON'T GO FORGETTIN ME NOW BIG HINT HINT.
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things about me
I like things that are sad and funny at the same time. Not only is there not much attention paid to this kind of art in general in society, but not even critics seem to have written much about this kind of work if they do, they slag it off as ironic and insincere. Its like an interview I have with Redd Kross back in 1987; they were doing funny-ish but affecting rock at the time, and they noted that everything has to be all serious like U2 or a laugh-riot like the Beastie Boys, and so critics would never take their serious moments seriously because (god forbid) they did funny stuff, too.
I love Yo La Tengo, but Ill probably always love Ween and Pavement and GbV more because it seems sometimes that YLT is afraid to take things a bit sillier they do sometimes, but it seems like a struggle. (edit - not to single YLT out; they have more humor than 95% of indie bands...)
I often hate songs before liking them. While this is generally due to getting used to a new band or sound, particularly a mannered vocalist (Alanis, Scott Weiland) thats not always the case. I distinctly remember being offended at You Dont Know How It Feels by Tom Petty when I first heard it on the radio. Something about it seemed like such lazy, mindless, shallow songwriting. I eventually grew to like it; its pot reference and the big, hot-t-t, sexually-ambiguous woman-person in the video might've helped.
I think it can be a sign that a song is really good if it has to grow on you; it often means its something new, untested in some way.
I dont believe artists are geniuses; I think they just do what they do and genius doesnt come into it at all. I dont equate having a unique vision or "having great talent or creating new art with genius. I think the label genius is, actually, unhealthy to an artists ego and can screw them up by making them self-aware and sloppy (Dylan @ Self Portrait, by his own admission) but sometimes it doesnt (Dali).
My idea of a genius is a person capable of multitasking in many fields of work, like Richard Feynman, Francis Crick, or Leonardo Da Vinci, but then these are all scientists on some level and maybe my definition is too narrow. Whatever. I just have seen too many artists regress late in their careers to start handing out genius labels.
Its often stated by men, and sometimes women, that pretty women have it easy. This is usually on ideas such as: they can pick lovers easily, they get all the attention, and they can live off of someone. But I think they have it hard. Okay, they can start a relationship easily but its based on something shallow, looks, and has no guarantee of relationship quality. Also, attention can be bad. I hate to get attention from people, usually. A pretty woman is never left alone by skeezy guys. Also, suppose a woman doesnt want to live off of anyone? Suppose she wants to be taken seriously, and substantially, for her brain?
Speaking of beauty- my beauty standards are widely-scattered, and I think beauty is hard to summarize. I dont think its a constant, anyway. I can think of several cases where I thought a girl was unattractive, then later changed my mind either because of her personality, or in fact no reason at all. My sensibilities, ironically, would be both offensive to the establishment/ Hollywood/ modeling ideals of beauty ( Im attracted to many women whod be considered too old, fat, young, thin, punk, plain, ethnic, or god knows what) and the underground/ cool/ alternative crowd (I think Kate Moss, Pam Anderson, and Paris Hilton are really hot- sorry!). Im also attracted to some trannies, and men. Am I bi? I guess. Most days I feel extremely straight; some days I feel queer as a four dollar bill. I generally like women, but whatever... Anyway, I think some men are good-looking and Id like to get it on with them, while I think others are good-looking but I dont want to sex them up. I dunno why. Consequently, I find the whole idea of DEFINING people's sexuality (is it genetic? a choice? what is it, oh god, we MUST know!! blah f-kin blah from society) to be boring and a huge waste of time, if I am in my own mind and CAN'T define myself day to day...
LONDON - was a great place to grow up (1975-78). A kid could even get around town by themselves (taxis, busses, subway) and I often did. A lot of my sensibilities can be traced to 1970s-British things, some famous here (Tom Bakers Doctor Who, Monty Python TV, movies, and books [yes, books- ask me nicely and Ill show two to you]) and some not so famous (The Goodies, British comic books, Selwyn Froggit, and I could go on but youll just get more puzzled). It was also easy to travel to Europe. I went to Ireland, Mallorca (twice), Garmisch in Germany (twice) and Austria, Paris, and Edinburgh, Scotland. The latter city is the only one I totally forget everything about, which is one of the reasons it (tied with Iceland) is the place I want to go to more than any.
INJURIES One time, when I was in gym class in elementary school, my knee jammed up for a few seconds. I mean, it was bent and I couldnt straighten it. I eventually yelled out in freaked horror, but it soon straightened out. Whatever was wrong with it, I had to wear a soft-cast for a couple weeks- thick bandage wraps, but not a plaster cast.
There was a park in London, with a rope that you could rappel off of a platform. I somehow got the rope wrapped around my neck (Im guessing the reason was extreme stupidity) and got yanked off this tree platform by my neck and summarily dumped on the ground (god knows how high it was; I was like 7, so whatever the actual height it seems like 30 feet in retrospect). That didnt feel good. I didnt break anything, though.
I got hit by a car in London, too. Right out front of our apartment. The light had just turned green and I ran out like well, a little kid. I didnt really get hurt, but did go to the doctor. I remember he said not to worry, that Id get banged around/ hurt plenty more in my youth, and for a long time I thought the doctor was some kind of psychic, like HOW DID HE KNOW Id get hurt a bunch more times? and the simple reason is- duh, I was a young boy.
My first two big heroes were probably Kimba the lion and Marine Boy, the old Japanese cartoons. I was FUCKING OBSESSED with Marine Boy; as Id said in the Sex Talk boards, he mightve been my first crush (speaking of androgynous boy-men, I also probably had a crush on Tintin; he was always being tied-up and chloroformed, which is pretty kinky. Hey, if you dont believe me, read the books). Its ironic that, between those and my 5th/ 6th grade obsession with the Japanese soap-sci-fi Star Blazers, I really dislike manga or most Japanese comics (I like Sanrio characters somewhat).
I can snap my fingers and throw a frisbee left-handed; otherwise, Im right-handed all the way. My one sort-of talent is bowling. I bowled for two years, had a 140s average that grew to 160+ for a few months before dropping back down to the 140s. I bowled well at JamieLees bowling party. Even at the pinnacle of my league days, I dont think I bowled a turkey (three consecutive strikes) but once or twice. At that party, I bowled one on my last three bowls, even though I was (literally) falling down drunk on Dewars, Royal Crown, and Jack (When I threw the last ball, I fell all over the lane. I didnt even see the strike. JamieLee bought me a Knobs Creek for my efforts).
Ive tried to play musical instruments (clarinet, bass, guitar) off and on and I reeeally sucked.
The thing thats most embarrassing about the USA to me is the tabloids at the supermarket check-out. Of course, there are worse things: poverty, prejudice, war but these are all things that existed everywhere 100 years ago, 1000 years ago, and will exist everywhere 100 years from now. Some of them even get addressed as problems by the media, groups, or politicians. Tabloids, on the other hand, just sit there newly-published every week, being utterly shameful, shallow, bloodsucking, and heinous. They didnt exist 100 years ago (although gossip did, of course, and some newspapers were gossipy, it was not at all like the modern ones) and hopefully will not exist in a few decades, if Americans have the most microscopic shred of values, morals, and decency.
BAD BEHAVIOR I can be a bit dicky when stressed nowadays, Im sure, but Im glad to say my most violent stuff is in the far past. When I was 5 or so (at the fist school we went to in London), this kid made me mad (forget why) and climb up on this jungle gym and I grabbed his shin and bit it. 5 or 6 years later, some kid made me mad and, once again, ran away from me. I threw this rock at him he was waaay far away, maybe 30 yards or more, and BANG, he crumpled to the ground. The gym teacher made me come over and apologize, and when they went away this other kid (pretty innocent kid) was looking at this growing smirk on my face and said, Youre not sorry, are you?? and I started laughing. To be fair to lil-bastard me, it was quite an accurate throw. When I got my drivers license, I did some stupid crap for a while, like tip garbage cans with the car, drive up pedestrian tunnels at night I eventually got cured from joy-riding when I jammed my brakes on on a wet road and did a 180 into a ditch, requiring help out of it from the old couple who lived on that corner. These ridiculous driving fuck-ups are part of the reason I think teenagers are just fucking crazy. Im hesitant to say that here, though, because, well some of you are 18 or 19 and Im 35 and it sounds prejudiced but I know I did some stupid shit like that as a teen which I didnt do before 15 or 16 and sure as hell wouldnt do now.
THE ROBOTIC VOICE Oh yeah, my big lifes mystery. When we were at our first apartment in London, I would hear this robotic voice late at night, when everyone was in bed. It seemed to be saying, 8 9 8 9 and I would get freaked out and have to sleep in my parentss bed. I dunno how long this went on, or why, or why 8 and 9. Maybe I was getting low-grade acid in my Cadburys; maybe it was some ghosts tribute to the White Album.
I watch some sports, mostly the NFL, but I mostly hang or want to hang with underground artist freak types (like YOU!!) and think sports journalism is a contradiction in terms (really, it is the most DUMB-ASS thing in the universe to ask someone how it felt to win or lose; I mean, how DO YOU THINK losing feels??). But while my favorite people are such as pymgy, Captain Beefheart, Candy Darling, and Quentin Crisp, I am still very psyched that my online fantasy football team has won five weeks in a row.
There is no way I would cheat on a girlfriend/ wife. Everybody says they wont, of course, but I really would not. I havent had too many relationship opportunities to prove this, though. Also, while I like to sexually fantasize, I would never want to have sex with a stranger. To me, its a very intimate thing; itd be like getting dental work from a total stranger and not just like it's risky because of STDs. I mean, to fully give yourself to someone sexually is a mental challenge too; I think you oughta know each other but then, I cant say how long per se you have to know someone to know them well (I would say it varies), and if other folks want to hump everybody in sight, thats their business. Unlike some people, I CAN HANDLE other people doing things that I wouldnt want to do because its NOT my business what others do in bed.
I was trying desperately to think of something that Ive physically done, besides bowling, to complement all this opinion-writing. Well, I rappelled over a deep ravine in 8th grade. It was part of a day of outdoor activities on a field trip that were supposed to instill values and teamwork and blah blah. So I rappelled down a rope on a pulley; Id guess it was about 50 feet up, I dunno, cant remember and I didn't have a tape measure hanging down, ya know. I remember that I was nervous and pulling myself up on the pulley, and you shouldnt do that. You should just hang with your arms slack, or else youll really fuckin hurt your biceps.
I prefer the words of others in my Journals to my own. I loved writing up those Dali and Candy Darling and Warhol/ Colacello things. I think Id actually feel more complimented if I got 30 Comments saying, I loved that Dali diary or I read those New York Review of Books articles and you were right, theyre very interesting! rather than 15 Comments on some rambling of my own.
Just this week, I realized I have a vast preference for fiction in contemporary settings, or at least those of the past few decades, than any in the far future or past or imaginary places. Im not big at all on sci-fi, ancient civilization epics, medieval stuff, fantasy in dungeons and dragons settings, Shakesperean or Renaissance or speculative near-future ones. I already knew I wasnt big on sci-fi and D&D, but Im just realizing the extent to which the stuff I really like and gravitate to is pretty contemporary.
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Well, theres 17 things, somewhat. If you want me to clarify anything, or if you all want to suggest 3 more things, thatd be great. Or- if 30 of you want to compliment the Dali diary entries.
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things about me
I like things that are sad and funny at the same time. Not only is there not much attention paid to this kind of art in general in society, but not even critics seem to have written much about this kind of work if they do, they slag it off as ironic and insincere. Its like an interview I have with Redd Kross back in 1987; they were doing funny-ish but affecting rock at the time, and they noted that everything has to be all serious like U2 or a laugh-riot like the Beastie Boys, and so critics would never take their serious moments seriously because (god forbid) they did funny stuff, too.
I love Yo La Tengo, but Ill probably always love Ween and Pavement and GbV more because it seems sometimes that YLT is afraid to take things a bit sillier they do sometimes, but it seems like a struggle. (edit - not to single YLT out; they have more humor than 95% of indie bands...)
I often hate songs before liking them. While this is generally due to getting used to a new band or sound, particularly a mannered vocalist (Alanis, Scott Weiland) thats not always the case. I distinctly remember being offended at You Dont Know How It Feels by Tom Petty when I first heard it on the radio. Something about it seemed like such lazy, mindless, shallow songwriting. I eventually grew to like it; its pot reference and the big, hot-t-t, sexually-ambiguous woman-person in the video might've helped.
I think it can be a sign that a song is really good if it has to grow on you; it often means its something new, untested in some way.
I dont believe artists are geniuses; I think they just do what they do and genius doesnt come into it at all. I dont equate having a unique vision or "having great talent or creating new art with genius. I think the label genius is, actually, unhealthy to an artists ego and can screw them up by making them self-aware and sloppy (Dylan @ Self Portrait, by his own admission) but sometimes it doesnt (Dali).
My idea of a genius is a person capable of multitasking in many fields of work, like Richard Feynman, Francis Crick, or Leonardo Da Vinci, but then these are all scientists on some level and maybe my definition is too narrow. Whatever. I just have seen too many artists regress late in their careers to start handing out genius labels.
Its often stated by men, and sometimes women, that pretty women have it easy. This is usually on ideas such as: they can pick lovers easily, they get all the attention, and they can live off of someone. But I think they have it hard. Okay, they can start a relationship easily but its based on something shallow, looks, and has no guarantee of relationship quality. Also, attention can be bad. I hate to get attention from people, usually. A pretty woman is never left alone by skeezy guys. Also, suppose a woman doesnt want to live off of anyone? Suppose she wants to be taken seriously, and substantially, for her brain?
Speaking of beauty- my beauty standards are widely-scattered, and I think beauty is hard to summarize. I dont think its a constant, anyway. I can think of several cases where I thought a girl was unattractive, then later changed my mind either because of her personality, or in fact no reason at all. My sensibilities, ironically, would be both offensive to the establishment/ Hollywood/ modeling ideals of beauty ( Im attracted to many women whod be considered too old, fat, young, thin, punk, plain, ethnic, or god knows what) and the underground/ cool/ alternative crowd (I think Kate Moss, Pam Anderson, and Paris Hilton are really hot- sorry!). Im also attracted to some trannies, and men. Am I bi? I guess. Most days I feel extremely straight; some days I feel queer as a four dollar bill. I generally like women, but whatever... Anyway, I think some men are good-looking and Id like to get it on with them, while I think others are good-looking but I dont want to sex them up. I dunno why. Consequently, I find the whole idea of DEFINING people's sexuality (is it genetic? a choice? what is it, oh god, we MUST know!! blah f-kin blah from society) to be boring and a huge waste of time, if I am in my own mind and CAN'T define myself day to day...
LONDON - was a great place to grow up (1975-78). A kid could even get around town by themselves (taxis, busses, subway) and I often did. A lot of my sensibilities can be traced to 1970s-British things, some famous here (Tom Bakers Doctor Who, Monty Python TV, movies, and books [yes, books- ask me nicely and Ill show two to you]) and some not so famous (The Goodies, British comic books, Selwyn Froggit, and I could go on but youll just get more puzzled). It was also easy to travel to Europe. I went to Ireland, Mallorca (twice), Garmisch in Germany (twice) and Austria, Paris, and Edinburgh, Scotland. The latter city is the only one I totally forget everything about, which is one of the reasons it (tied with Iceland) is the place I want to go to more than any.
INJURIES One time, when I was in gym class in elementary school, my knee jammed up for a few seconds. I mean, it was bent and I couldnt straighten it. I eventually yelled out in freaked horror, but it soon straightened out. Whatever was wrong with it, I had to wear a soft-cast for a couple weeks- thick bandage wraps, but not a plaster cast.
There was a park in London, with a rope that you could rappel off of a platform. I somehow got the rope wrapped around my neck (Im guessing the reason was extreme stupidity) and got yanked off this tree platform by my neck and summarily dumped on the ground (god knows how high it was; I was like 7, so whatever the actual height it seems like 30 feet in retrospect). That didnt feel good. I didnt break anything, though.
I got hit by a car in London, too. Right out front of our apartment. The light had just turned green and I ran out like well, a little kid. I didnt really get hurt, but did go to the doctor. I remember he said not to worry, that Id get banged around/ hurt plenty more in my youth, and for a long time I thought the doctor was some kind of psychic, like HOW DID HE KNOW Id get hurt a bunch more times? and the simple reason is- duh, I was a young boy.
My first two big heroes were probably Kimba the lion and Marine Boy, the old Japanese cartoons. I was FUCKING OBSESSED with Marine Boy; as Id said in the Sex Talk boards, he mightve been my first crush (speaking of androgynous boy-men, I also probably had a crush on Tintin; he was always being tied-up and chloroformed, which is pretty kinky. Hey, if you dont believe me, read the books). Its ironic that, between those and my 5th/ 6th grade obsession with the Japanese soap-sci-fi Star Blazers, I really dislike manga or most Japanese comics (I like Sanrio characters somewhat).
I can snap my fingers and throw a frisbee left-handed; otherwise, Im right-handed all the way. My one sort-of talent is bowling. I bowled for two years, had a 140s average that grew to 160+ for a few months before dropping back down to the 140s. I bowled well at JamieLees bowling party. Even at the pinnacle of my league days, I dont think I bowled a turkey (three consecutive strikes) but once or twice. At that party, I bowled one on my last three bowls, even though I was (literally) falling down drunk on Dewars, Royal Crown, and Jack (When I threw the last ball, I fell all over the lane. I didnt even see the strike. JamieLee bought me a Knobs Creek for my efforts).
Ive tried to play musical instruments (clarinet, bass, guitar) off and on and I reeeally sucked.
The thing thats most embarrassing about the USA to me is the tabloids at the supermarket check-out. Of course, there are worse things: poverty, prejudice, war but these are all things that existed everywhere 100 years ago, 1000 years ago, and will exist everywhere 100 years from now. Some of them even get addressed as problems by the media, groups, or politicians. Tabloids, on the other hand, just sit there newly-published every week, being utterly shameful, shallow, bloodsucking, and heinous. They didnt exist 100 years ago (although gossip did, of course, and some newspapers were gossipy, it was not at all like the modern ones) and hopefully will not exist in a few decades, if Americans have the most microscopic shred of values, morals, and decency.
BAD BEHAVIOR I can be a bit dicky when stressed nowadays, Im sure, but Im glad to say my most violent stuff is in the far past. When I was 5 or so (at the fist school we went to in London), this kid made me mad (forget why) and climb up on this jungle gym and I grabbed his shin and bit it. 5 or 6 years later, some kid made me mad and, once again, ran away from me. I threw this rock at him he was waaay far away, maybe 30 yards or more, and BANG, he crumpled to the ground. The gym teacher made me come over and apologize, and when they went away this other kid (pretty innocent kid) was looking at this growing smirk on my face and said, Youre not sorry, are you?? and I started laughing. To be fair to lil-bastard me, it was quite an accurate throw. When I got my drivers license, I did some stupid crap for a while, like tip garbage cans with the car, drive up pedestrian tunnels at night I eventually got cured from joy-riding when I jammed my brakes on on a wet road and did a 180 into a ditch, requiring help out of it from the old couple who lived on that corner. These ridiculous driving fuck-ups are part of the reason I think teenagers are just fucking crazy. Im hesitant to say that here, though, because, well some of you are 18 or 19 and Im 35 and it sounds prejudiced but I know I did some stupid shit like that as a teen which I didnt do before 15 or 16 and sure as hell wouldnt do now.
THE ROBOTIC VOICE Oh yeah, my big lifes mystery. When we were at our first apartment in London, I would hear this robotic voice late at night, when everyone was in bed. It seemed to be saying, 8 9 8 9 and I would get freaked out and have to sleep in my parentss bed. I dunno how long this went on, or why, or why 8 and 9. Maybe I was getting low-grade acid in my Cadburys; maybe it was some ghosts tribute to the White Album.
I watch some sports, mostly the NFL, but I mostly hang or want to hang with underground artist freak types (like YOU!!) and think sports journalism is a contradiction in terms (really, it is the most DUMB-ASS thing in the universe to ask someone how it felt to win or lose; I mean, how DO YOU THINK losing feels??). But while my favorite people are such as pymgy, Captain Beefheart, Candy Darling, and Quentin Crisp, I am still very psyched that my online fantasy football team has won five weeks in a row.
There is no way I would cheat on a girlfriend/ wife. Everybody says they wont, of course, but I really would not. I havent had too many relationship opportunities to prove this, though. Also, while I like to sexually fantasize, I would never want to have sex with a stranger. To me, its a very intimate thing; itd be like getting dental work from a total stranger and not just like it's risky because of STDs. I mean, to fully give yourself to someone sexually is a mental challenge too; I think you oughta know each other but then, I cant say how long per se you have to know someone to know them well (I would say it varies), and if other folks want to hump everybody in sight, thats their business. Unlike some people, I CAN HANDLE other people doing things that I wouldnt want to do because its NOT my business what others do in bed.
I was trying desperately to think of something that Ive physically done, besides bowling, to complement all this opinion-writing. Well, I rappelled over a deep ravine in 8th grade. It was part of a day of outdoor activities on a field trip that were supposed to instill values and teamwork and blah blah. So I rappelled down a rope on a pulley; Id guess it was about 50 feet up, I dunno, cant remember and I didn't have a tape measure hanging down, ya know. I remember that I was nervous and pulling myself up on the pulley, and you shouldnt do that. You should just hang with your arms slack, or else youll really fuckin hurt your biceps.
I prefer the words of others in my Journals to my own. I loved writing up those Dali and Candy Darling and Warhol/ Colacello things. I think Id actually feel more complimented if I got 30 Comments saying, I loved that Dali diary or I read those New York Review of Books articles and you were right, theyre very interesting! rather than 15 Comments on some rambling of my own.
Just this week, I realized I have a vast preference for fiction in contemporary settings, or at least those of the past few decades, than any in the far future or past or imaginary places. Im not big at all on sci-fi, ancient civilization epics, medieval stuff, fantasy in dungeons and dragons settings, Shakesperean or Renaissance or speculative near-future ones. I already knew I wasnt big on sci-fi and D&D, but Im just realizing the extent to which the stuff I really like and gravitate to is pretty contemporary.
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Well, theres 17 things, somewhat. If you want me to clarify anything, or if you all want to suggest 3 more things, thatd be great. Or- if 30 of you want to compliment the Dali diary entries.
VIEW 13 of 13 COMMENTS
Now if only I can keep away from World of Warcraft for more than 10 mins I could read it.
I might be grey for a while soon.
I hope your still here when I get back.