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cheappearls

Broken Arrow, OK

Member Since 2006

Followers 195 Following 189

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Monday Mar 24, 2008

Mar 24, 2008
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I'm torn.

Torn between looking like a serious and responsible adult and wanting to scream at the world 'fuck off' and do what I want regardless of how it makes me look.

Superfacial in a way, caring what other people think about the way I look. Why should I care? I really shouldn't. Can't help it. I hate feeling judged. I already get that because I'm so young to be married and have kids, why bring on more punishment with the way I look? Maybe I'm just trying to prove something. Today I say fuck it all.

I'm thinking this weekend I am going to get a hair cut and some new clothes. I'm getting back to my prekids size and I think I deserve a bit of a treat. I have been growing out my hair for a while now. I'm loving the length but it's so shapeless and... well, blah. I need a new style.

I really want a piercing. biggrin I'm thinking nose. I need to run it by Mike. His opinion matters to me but still, even if he doesn't want me to it's my body and my decision. It will have to wait a while though as I'm breastfeeding now.

I've been in a rut. I mean really I've been pregnant for a majority of the last 5 years. My weight has gone up and down through each pregnancy, my body looks like a war zone. Still I am happy, mostly. I have been staying with 'safer' clothing choices though. Things I don't mind getting stained because after all I do have 3 very young boys. I WANT TO BUST OUT AND YELL AT THE WORLD TO LOOK AT ME!

But then I'm a bit crazy. surreal I have a game plan. Good bye boring 'mom' style. Hello the new rockin me. ARRR!!!

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