chazzgoldfoot

what to do .............................

So I really like someone and I dont know what to do .I want to take the time for once to get to know someone before I just jump in with them into any place or in anyway. This person is so sweet and so sexy and so just grrrrrr . I really want her to like me, but sometimes like the taurus I am I call too much or try to hard. so I have decided to chill, not call so much , not try so hard , just be me. But at the same time that is me, hehe. I feel myself changing in massive ways right now and maybe that is why I want this person to like me so much. I want someone to see and share in this change with me. I have gone from being a complete and utter asshole to the women I am attracted to,to being this sweet patient nice guy.
I am learning slowly but surely to be patient and respectful. I only want now to give someone what they want in a person and in life. But still remain me and not get lost in the other person ad become something I am not either as a friend or more. I have been learning patience with my friends, because I figure if I learn patience with them I will know inheretantly how to be patient with the women in my life that I would like to be involved with.
I have grown so much even since i came back to this town in April of this year. I came back here jumped into the club scene, got whatever I wanted including all the women. I turned into a bit of a slut and figured out that sex is no biggie to alot of people. in SF you cant swing a cat o nine tails without hitting a poly person as it is. or some girl who's fetish is casual sex or sport fucking. at first it was great but its also part of the reason why I have dropped out of the "scene" as they call it. I am 34 I want the rest of my life to have some sort of meaning to it. I would like to have long and lasting friendships and if I do have sex with someone I dont want it to be sport. I did that in my younger days and I dont need that anymore. I did that type of shit because I didn't love myself and it was part of my insecurities.
So what to do ....... go back to being the asshole or keep being the hopeless romantic I am becoming .....