restless and homesick
Sigh....
you know how you live somewhere for so long and you get so comfy .... i miss that right now. we have amazing goth scene and am sure burner scene i have yet to tap into yet but i miss the bay area. i miss my friends and the way we know each other soooooo well...
i live for the moment in the outskirts of portland. so is an effort to get in to town some times. and with the whole brain surgery thing some days im just not up to social shit. some times i dont even feel like pick up the phone.
my doctors appointments are finally coming up for my ssi things. so by the middle of the month i should have money and a place of my own. i am lucky in that sense. with the victims of violent crime fund paying of relocation costs and 6 months of back pay of my salary but my god man what i have to go through to get in....fuck...
i have all this money coming to me and i cant even see to get movitade to get all the shit together i need to file for it. its just hard for me to wrap my head around all the work, numbers and hard to rememeber all that needs to be done. sucks.
i dont have ANYONE to help me to do all this up here. sucks..... right. its all on me to do it. its not that i am lazy or dont want the funds and what not its just alot for my head to process and that is tough....
sigh...