chazstrummer

Narrator: Welcome to tonight's show. We'll be telling the story of Captain Nick. Captain Nick was dressed in red; red shirt, red pants, red hat with a green feather; only his boots and belt were black. Yes, Captain Nick was a Christmas Fairy...

Captain Nick: That be Christmas pirate, ye scurvy dog!

Nar: Correction, that's Christmas pirate. He sailed on his ship "Rudolph, that was named for the Russian ballet star, Rudolph Nuryev...

Nick: It's named for the reindeer, ye landlubber!

Nar: Correction, it was named for the reindeer. He sailed with his first mate Petered Pam...

Nick: Peter Pan was the enemy of me brother, Cap'n Hook. Me mate's name is Pedro Navidad.

Nar: I stand corrected yet again. Captain Nick has been described as a cross between Santa Claus and Robin Hood. A complete rip-off some would say.

Nick: If ye buggered the pope, ye'd be called saint, too. And Robin Hood and his men were more than merry.

Nar: Whatever, You steal toys from the rich children and give to the poor ones. You must admit it sounds a bit familiar.

Nick: I does what I does. Me actions speak for theirself.

Nar: Well, anyway, I've been trying to set up your story, but you keep interupting.

Nick: Ye keep gettin' the facts wrong.

Nar: My notes were researched by Dan Rather and the CBS news department.

Nick: Fools!

Nar: Yes, and you'd know about fools, wouldn't you?

Nick: Is ye callin' me a fool? Defend yerself!

-They draw swords-

*We sincerely apologize. Maybe, we'll get to Captain Nick's story on another night*