charmed_

i have an addictive personality, which means that a distraction can easily become an obsession. i'm amused and amazed on a regular basis how many ways addiction can be manifested. moving among addictions can take you further from harm and closer to wellness, or obviously the reverse (i.e. the downward spiral). most of my addiction comes in the form of intense feeling - as i suspect all addiction does. historically, i've pursued kinesthetic extremes, from intense adrenaline inducing activity to muchas caffiene to emotionally unstable people. my journey has been to discover these patterns, and replace the ones that leave me worn like a bald tire with pursuits that are actually nuturing/building/improving things. as i transition from dangerous to not dangerous behaviors, the desire for intensity of feeling remains. the challenge is to pursue the feeling beyond the daily feeling of everythind and too much in a way that is safe in the necessary ways, and risky in the good ways. taking the kinds of risks that build you up and make you a better person may be just another manifestation of a addiction, but if you know your impulses, why not use them to your maximum advantage, eh?