charmed_

last night i went to church for the first time in years. i'm catholic, but i don't really care for any of the local catholic churches. also, their doctrine doesn't much care for me. consequently, i chose to attend a liberal, service oriented, queer-friendly episcopal church. the service was similar, albeit more positive and less formal than mass. i was mostly able to follow along. i did, however, continuously cross myself at (in) appropriate intervals. i'm just so very used to it! catholic, like southern, don't wash out. i may not appear to be either, but i am so very both.

i'm spending today finishing my apartment. i am rearranging it this holiday season. i've been so bogged down in school for the last year i never made it my place in a real way. it feels good to be transforming the rooms into places i want to be, to invite people, and to experience life. i've never been much of a nester, but it makes a huge difference. as long as i'm changing so many other things, why not make a home i want to live in?

speaking of change, i change constantly. sometimes i think it is all i do. in a way it is wonderful because the next thing is always coming. in another way its a useful tool for avoiding intimacy & roots. as i get older i become more acclimated to intimacy & roots, and since the girl came on the scene i've been shockingly home & hearth oriented. she is good for me in that way ~ and other ways, but that specific way has been the most surprising gift.

its funny to be writing this knowing no one will read it. i wonder if i should try to make contact with someone. i can't quite figure out how one does that with this site configuration. hmmmmmm.

merry merry.