charlize

I felt better today than I have in a looooong time. This week was tough because I had to work. I took waaaay more pain killers than when I get to lay in bed all day. Sometimes they barely feel like they work when I am up and about. It's so sad because I pretty much get to sit all day and I still feel like I am going to DIE. It was worth it though, I don't do well in isolation; I just get depressed. I need social interaction!

My favorite thing to do in the whole wide world is sing. I can no longer sing, though. It hurts to breath and singing is all about breathe support. I try periodically because I don't want to believe it hurts. Singing is what keeps me sane when I am upset. Jesus, my coping method needs to change in this situation. Stupid life! When I am not in pain I am living it up! Seize the day!! CARPE DIEM!!!! Dammit!

I am probably going to see my FAVORITE band play tomorrow. I am so excited. I am going with that boy I met. Unless he doesn't want to, but I already basically told him that is what we are doing. I said if he didn't want to I would go by myself. Ha ha! I would, too, that is how much I want to see this band in person. So far the guy is really nice. I don't think it's going to work out, though. No guy in his right-mind would stick around for my health problems. There is no end in sight and EVERYTHING hurts now. That includes SEX ! I am depressed about that. And mad But, I am not going to torture myself for sex. That would be dumb.

I am really in a good mood, by the way.

I love you guys! Seriously, everyone who comments makes my day, week, month! Seriously!!!! You guys are the BEST!