charlize

I desperately need advice! But, before that, I promise this entry will not be as long as the last (I will try, seriously), and thanks to anyone that read the last entry. It was really important to me.

Okay, so I have had this friend for about ten years. I would consider her to be my closest friend. She recently broke up with her abusive boyfriend. I was there for her through all of it, even though I was constantly in pain. She deserved so much better than him that I was tickled that she FINALLY wanted out.

Unfortunately, she wanted out so she could date a new guy. Since the break-up she has been all-consumed with the new guy. She called me the day after my surgery and I was at the doctor, so my sister told her to call me back, but she didn't. I finally called her a couple days ago and she called me today. I was starting to get hurt because I am feeling like she doesn't care about what happens to me. As soon as she called I was alleviated of those feelings.

But, that did not last long. She wanted to know if I wanted to go out and do something with her and her boy. She wanted me to meet him. I am sorry, but not exactly my top priority. I still am in a considerable amount of pain and can't stand for longer than a couple of minutes. I was floored that she did not ask me how I felt. Am I being selfish here? Then she asked if she could bring him over after I told her I wasn't quite healed yet. I said no. I feel like crap, look like crap, I don't need to meet him right now. I just wanted to see my friend.

She was like, "Okay, I will just come over by myself." I'm thinking that she is finally putting her friend of a decade over a guy she met about two months ago. Wow, was I giving her too much credit. When she showed up she told me that her boyfriend was waiting outside for her. She still had not asked me how I was feeling or how surgery went or anything. I got pissed. Plus, it really really REALLY hurt my feelings that she couldn't just put him aside for a couple hours and be my friend. To defend herself she said things like, "Well, I spend all my time with him." And, "I didn't realize the surgery was going to be that bad." That is because she didn't asked. She never asked. Finally, she started telling me what a horrible person she is. All I wanted was for her to recognize I need a friend right now. I was tiffed she turned it around to a pity-her party.

I have been fighting back tears all day because I am so hurt. I am so astounded that she would ditch me right when I needed a friend. My closest friend. It is making me reaccess our friendship. I would do anything for her. But, I think that is part of the problem: I am always helping her, she never sees me as weak. At times I think she believes I am SUPER-HUMAN. She made him wait outside for about an hour before leaving. It was odd when she left because we were talking and she just got up and left.

I just want to know if I am blowing this out of proportion. I think I might be overly sensitive because I feel so isolated from the world. I haven't done anything for at least six weeks. I am starting to lose my mind.

Also, my friend apologized. The problem is that I only think an apology is sincere if the bad behavior stops. I can't see that happening. She cares too much about having boyfriends and not enough for having friends

A wise man once said to me when I was looking for support from a family member and not getting it, "Well, then, you know that you can't look to her for that support." It actually helped me to feel better before, but isn't so much working now.

Thanks.

I am editing this to say that despite the above story, I have had so much more support than I could have ever expected! Support from people that I never would have expected it from. It really has been very eye-opening to see how many people care, including people on this site!!! Thanks guys!