Sometimes I think it would be safer for my sanity and my body if I just stay a mute pretty girl that is obedient. Then maybe men wouldn't be such assholes. Who am I kidding... I could never be like that EVER!
During the first month I was away from my boyfriend he burned me some CD's with songs that we used to listen to together. I never listened to all of them until today because every time I tried I would not be able to stop crying. The first song on the first CD is a song by The Doors. I can't remember the name of it, but every time we listened to it I wanted it to be our song. I think that is cheesy, though, so I never had the courage to say anything. The fact it was the very first song he burned for me drove me insane. I never told him that. He told me he that song reminds him of me, that is why he burned it first. It was really sweet. He has been very offended that I haven't listened to all of the CD's. I tried to explain that it was too emotional, but I understand why he is upset. He was trying to be nice. I totally missed it, but on one of the CD's he wrote that he burned this songs to show me he cares. It's really sweet, right?
But, our relationship just isn't working.
I wanted it to so much, but it just doesn't. I wish things were different so much. I really do... I love him.
It looks like I need to move home. This guy that is always trying to have sex with me, flipped out on me last night. He scared the shit out of me. I thought he was going to hit me, but he didn't. He acted so insane that I was shaking for a few hours. He is always hanging out at the restaurant that I work at. I just don't want to go there anymore.
I can go home on Tuesday if I want. I have a plane ticket. I'm not sure what to do...
During the first month I was away from my boyfriend he burned me some CD's with songs that we used to listen to together. I never listened to all of them until today because every time I tried I would not be able to stop crying. The first song on the first CD is a song by The Doors. I can't remember the name of it, but every time we listened to it I wanted it to be our song. I think that is cheesy, though, so I never had the courage to say anything. The fact it was the very first song he burned for me drove me insane. I never told him that. He told me he that song reminds him of me, that is why he burned it first. It was really sweet. He has been very offended that I haven't listened to all of the CD's. I tried to explain that it was too emotional, but I understand why he is upset. He was trying to be nice. I totally missed it, but on one of the CD's he wrote that he burned this songs to show me he cares. It's really sweet, right?
But, our relationship just isn't working.
I wanted it to so much, but it just doesn't. I wish things were different so much. I really do... I love him.
It looks like I need to move home. This guy that is always trying to have sex with me, flipped out on me last night. He scared the shit out of me. I thought he was going to hit me, but he didn't. He acted so insane that I was shaking for a few hours. He is always hanging out at the restaurant that I work at. I just don't want to go there anymore.
I can go home on Tuesday if I want. I have a plane ticket. I'm not sure what to do...
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
Remember that the point is to be happy, and you can't be happy when you don't feel creative and loved. Goals are important, but they should grow and change along with us, not constrain us.
Of course you don't think it's cold--you're from Portland! Those of us from warmer climes have some adjusting to do....
I know the mix tapes and cd's that are made during a relationship is sucky to listen too after. Believe me. I used to make a mix tape and cue it to "our" song. Then slip it into her car stereo. romantic? i thought so.
Good luck and going home isn't always a bad idea, but just make sure you do it for the right reasons. A bad relationship isn't always the right reason.