charlize

I'm going home to visit tomorrow. Yay! I am really excited about it! I have been so miserable and lonely here, and right when I finally made up my mind to move back home, I have started to really enjoy it. I still haven't gotten my school shit figured out, but even without school I have grown very attached to someone here. I feel like she understands me and I understand her. I can tell she would definitely be a true friend . I don't have any of those back home anymore. It is something I have desperately needed. I almost feel like I need a good friendship more than I need to hang on to my relationship with my boyfriend. I actually think the best would be to have both. I have come to a dilemma. But, the fact is, I have very little money and no where to live in DC. The rational decision would be to move back... ugh. I bet the person here and I would stay in contact no matter what. It is just so much different when you get in be around the person. Talking to her is so theraputic. The craziest part is that we were talking tonight and she feels all of the same ways that I do. I just have such a strong connection with her. I want my cake and to eat it to... I want to be both here and in Portland simultaneously. My heart is going to break if I stay and it is going to break if I leave. I can honestly say that I am completely torn in half over this. I'll figure it out, right?

Even with that dilemma over my head, I am in such hopeful spirits again. Yay! I can't wait to go home. I am going to get some love...