charlie_stars

5.2 overall. A very professional, if not spectacular performance.

The lack of capitalization was a definite drawback - many words would have had much more impact if capitalized, and it would have embedded a pleasant visual contrast within an otherwise uniform block of text. Nevertheless, the single-paragraph technique is a good one, and you picked a good length for it - long enough to be unquestionably horrible, but not so long as to be utterly unreadable. So even with the points shaved off for lacking capitalizations, it was a strong showing.

Furthermore, you picked up points for displaying convincingly atrocious spelling and grammar both - it's hard not to overdo one or both of these, and you did an excellent job of steering clear of the common mistake of phonetically-based misspellings, which always reek of artificiality.

The points you garnered for total irrelevance and self-absorption helped, but were in the end balanced out by an insufficient level of "OMG! WTF?" to the rant as a whole. I'd strongly recommend further developing your capacities in that direction. Mollusk, for instance, has almost totally redefined the entire field of "OMG! WTF?", and you might want to examine some of his work for inspiration. Particularly "illegal aliens...." and "does taking a shot in the mouth make you gay?"

Nevertheless, as I say, it's a strong rant overall. And the universally negative popular reception was also a plus in the end. It's what put you over the top of 5.