charlatan

I am happy. I have been happy since I wrote my last journal.

I think I put myself in the rut of writing only my biggest letdowns into my journal. like the only things that were worth thinking or talking about were the problems in my life. That was wrong. I can't let my problems consume me. Everyone has problems; has bad things happening in their lives. I'm gonna leave mine be now. i can't fix them and I'm not sure I would if I could anymore. That ship has sailed. I'm not gonna live forever and I certainly don't want to waste anymore time feeling sorry for myself for something that wasn't my fault.

Life takes strange turns. you start out on path and for a while it seems so simple to keep the path in sight. Then the sun goes down and night takes over. It skews the path, makes things hard to see, hard to get through. you stumble and trip on branches, skin your knees on rocks. You think it will never end, that you must have taken a wrong turn. Then just as quickly as it started, the night ends. the sun comes out and you realize the path is right where you left it. All you need to do is gather the things you dropped in the dark and continue on your way. With the breeze on your face and the sun on your back.

Things are good. I have a great place to live. A great roommate. Good friends. People I've called that for many years. New friends that are better people than you could ever hope to meet your lifetime. The kinds of people you are proud to know.

This is going to be a good year. My life is going to be better. It will because I will it so. Because it's what is meant to be, what has to be. I'm happy for these thoughts, these friends. i will not trade in my memories I don't need for them to be forgotten for me to be happy. They make me happen often.

All I need is a haircut. Then I will be on top of the world.