charlatan

Every movie I go and see has love in it. People falling in love, people losing love, ignoring it, taking it for granted, being in love with too many people, etc. It makes me sad. Love is a pretty important part of my makeup and I feel kind of like I'm covered in filth sometimes because I don't have its cleansing embrace on me. It's my shield, in a way. I take strength in the caring from my other.

How would I recognize love now? How do you know if their is affection from someone unless they tell you?

There is someone on my mind lately but I really am not sure if she has affection for me or just merely friendship. I realize that now is not the time to try and figure it out. It isn't my place in her life at this point, or maybe ever, to ask. I don't wish to complicate things but I can't help but notice how terrific she is. The way she lights up a room and sucks the air out of it at the same time. I just wish I could see into her heart for a moment. Not knowing kills me.

I am a very patient man, especially when it comes to the heart. Those are delicate things and need not be taken lightly. It's just, is being nice enough? Is thoughtfulness really that attractive? What goes into the perfect prototype? What is the benchmark? If I knew what the starting point is expected to be I could work on myself from that place on.

I'm just a little neurotic when it comes to these things. I think too much, I spend too much time alone or at work and my mind never stops.

I guess I just wonder what I could do to make her really take notice of me.