charitee

and so tonight we ring in a new year.

when i was a little girl the thought of 2005 seemed almost impossible. it seemed so far way. i'd lay in my bed at night, listen to them fight and pray my door didn't open.

2005 is upon me now, the year that as a child i thought was a magical number. 2005 would be the year that i'd find my dreams come true.

i said goodbye to my step son today. he just drove away with his dad, on the way to the airport to get on a plane back to his mother. his mother who never lets us talk to him and only lets us see him a few times a year. he's been gone for 15 minutes and i already miss him.

two people in my life are so sad their words cut at my heart. i want to make it better for them, but i can't. i wish the gods would take care of them but the more i see them struggle the more i question my faith.

someone who used to be in my life is still trying to hurt me. she is not a bad person, just enjoys thriving on the drama in her life. i just wish she'd let it go, stop writing, stop talking and let me be.

i miss my husband. we see eachother every day, we spend time together, we love eachother very much but i miss him.

i miss my mom and dad and my brother. i miss them more than they know.

may 2005 bring peace to us all. happy new year darlings. please be safe and happy.