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charitee

Member Since 2004

Followers 35 Following 41

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Sunday Oct 17, 2004

Oct 17, 2004
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Close the door.
Lock the window.
Pull the shade.
Draw the blinds.

Sit in darkness.
Turn off music.
Light a candle.
Just rewind.

Go backwards.
Replay.
Listen to hindsight.
Prevent regret.

Look, try to listen.
Pay attention to knowledge.
Don't replay your mistakes.
Don't agree to that.

If you knew yesterday what you know today would you make the same mistakes tomorrow?

I cry at a base level unknown to me before.
My own stupidity has misguided me again.

I have always hated my invisibility. I think I will begin to embrace it.

I am not good at relationships. I am not good at friendships. I am not good with people. Maybe being invisible is my gift to the world. If you ignore me you'll be safer. I am guilty of trying too hard, of wanting to much, of not being kind at times. I am guilty of not saying thank you, of hoping for the easy out, of not keeping some promises. I am guilty of being cruel, of gossiping, of being hurtful on purpose. I am over weight, have bad hair, wear ugly glasses. I have crooked teeth, bad morning breath and ugly nails. I dress funny, talk too much and interupt. I don't understand things I should, sometimes wish I wouldn't wake up tomorrow, I avoid negative situations. I'm messy, I don't do my laundry until I'm out of clean socks, I get make up everywhere. I hate doing dishes, I only dust when people are coming over, I haven't washed my windows in 4 months. I yell when I shouldn't, I have a short fuse, I blame things on others so I don't have to feel bad. I am guilty of being human.

But, my husband loves me, gods help him, and with that knowledge, nothing you can say or do will hurt me. I'll be fine. Just fine......























and invisible.


VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
judas:
of course i give a shit, lady. now stop being an asshole to yourself. make a very intense effort to make it to the 90s tomorrow. you need it, and you need all of us.

but if not tomorrow, then sunday. i love you, honey.
Oct 17, 2004
neodrunk:
invisible? your journal saddens me so. frown
cheer up, sleepy jean. oh what can it mean,
to have daydream believers and a homecoming queen.

i probably fucked up all the words.
i'm retarded.

tonguemiao!!
Oct 17, 2004

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