Saturday Oct 02, 2004

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I didn't sleep very well last night.

I dreamt about my birth mother. She was lying in a bed, hooked up to machines and monitors. Her body was smaller than I remember and she looked frail. My sisters were crying in the chairs next to her bed.

I walked into her hospital room. She woke up. She laughed at me. She layed in her bed looking small, laughing at me.

At some point in my dream my surroundings changed.

I was sitting in a dark room, the only thing I could see was a single candle about 15 feet infront of me.

I got up, walked to the candle and blew it out.

Then I woke up.


I need someone to understand me.

I need to not feel invisible.
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
robot_love:
Delighted and honored to be 'friended' though I might not be around long. Hope your day goes better than your sleepless night! smile
judas:
sweetheart, that's an ugly dream. i dreamt that my grandmother was invisible and in a petri dish. she told me she had a heart condition and wasn't sure if she could handle the coldness of the ocean. i held the petri dish down to the water level so that she could stick her toe in. somehow she fell in, and the petri dish was now pink with watery blood. this was after we'd noticed there was a wiccan totem on the property of our lake cabin (it wasn't a totem, but an obelisk, actually). we weren't allowed to step within the stone circle surrounding it. i went to explore, and my mother did as well. after we sat in the cabin to talk about the obelisk, and my mother looked out at the ocean, where my grandmother would later die, and she saw big blue foamy things--she whispered to me, "i am seeing things now." i told her, "i've always seen things."

the dream ended with me screaming "grandma" as loud and blood-curdlingly as one can possibly do.

so, we both had some delightfully ugly dreams... good times.

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