Mood : Suffering...if thats a mood
Listening to : The roar of thoughts as they whirl around inside my mind
What have I done? I wonder to myself every now and then...What have I done? I have fallen in love with a woman who deserves so much more than what she currently has...i have been selfish, I have been arrogant and ignorant in the way I treat her...what I ask of her. She is taken you see...and though she is broken and hurt and falling apart i have the audacity to try and heal her...after all..it is what my name stands for huh...healing. But I have entered a realm that is foreign to me...guns blazing, trying to take over a kingdom that is not mine. And there is a price to pay you see...A price I wonder if I will be able to pay. Although I might have won her...what is the cost to her? What is it I have actually won out of this war of hearts? Do I get a woman who will love me for all that I am...all that I have to offer, all the love I have to give? Or will she enter my kingdom unable to love...unable to leave the pain and heart break that she has known for so long?
What have I done? I want her as much as anyone can want anything. I want her to be with me...to live my dreams as well as her own..together with me. I want to show her what true love is...for that is what we share together. But although we share that...and so much more...I fear she cannot see me...I fear she cannot look past all the years of suffering she has endured....for with suffering comes a sense of reliance, a sense of comfort...comfort in her own misery. And although I offer her an escape from that realm she has grown so used to..I fear she will not embrace it with all the happiness and love that we feel for eachother when we are together. It is a sad state of affairs when one is bound so deeply to the past that one cannot see the future and what it has to offer.
So what do I do? Inevitability forces her from the one she is with...into my arms maybe? But with a open heart and clear conscience? Im afraid I have caused a un-healable tear within her heart...one that time cannot mend. Even as we live together in happiness and love. I go forward...looking to the future and hoping that we will be together....if only you knew how much we belong together...how wonderful this two joining of souls that are the same feels. We have bonded together from the first day we met...destiny pulling us together, showing us signs of how well the puzzle fits. Its amazing how close two people can get and not even meet...then meet and become that much closer.
But she is shattered....and I wonder if I can offer her asylum so she can heal. I wonder if im doing the right thing by continuing to love her and continuing our relationship. You must understand...there is no doubt in my mind that I love her and want her with me...no doubt in my mind that I accept her for all that she is...good or bad. But what am I doing to her? It was both our decisions that allowed us to fall this deep for each other and it was the need to be together that allowed us to love each other so deeply. This is a rare love we share...One that is so binding that in any other circumstance we would be completely and forever in love...a love so strong that in any other circumstance we would be bound for eternity. But I wonder if she can offer me that now...thought she says she loves me...her heart is torn in two from what has been and what is. And I have caused this. Ignorant in the fact that I let my feelings for her..my love tear a hole into her heart that bleeds like a gaping wound that might scar forever.
And we cannot let each other go...we are so perfectly bound together by all that should be...by all that was meant to be that we both suffer being together. Suffer because my love for her demands that she be with only me...and her love...well, that is why she suffers. Torn between two people she loves with all her heart. But one love is cold and dark and although comforting...it is rotted and distorted...bruised beyond repair and destined to wither into nothingness. While the love we share is vibrant..new, bound by the depths of our souls...as if in some strange way we both new each other in the past.
What have I done to her? Was it me that has caused such screaming pain inside her soul..inside her heart? Or was it inevitability? What will I be taking into my arms every night? a soul that has finally found what it is looking for? Able to finally live the life that it has always dreamed of...with a guy who will be able to fulfill her in every aspect? Or a soul that can never look forward...will always dwell in the past.
I have stolen her from her domain and showed her a kingdom that is awe inspiring to her...a kingdom of magnificence...a kingdom that she will be at peace in. But she only knows her domain..that is what she has lived in her whole life....she accepted what she had...so now i wonder, can she live with me? can she embrace our love for what it is?
Listening to : The roar of thoughts as they whirl around inside my mind
What have I done? I wonder to myself every now and then...What have I done? I have fallen in love with a woman who deserves so much more than what she currently has...i have been selfish, I have been arrogant and ignorant in the way I treat her...what I ask of her. She is taken you see...and though she is broken and hurt and falling apart i have the audacity to try and heal her...after all..it is what my name stands for huh...healing. But I have entered a realm that is foreign to me...guns blazing, trying to take over a kingdom that is not mine. And there is a price to pay you see...A price I wonder if I will be able to pay. Although I might have won her...what is the cost to her? What is it I have actually won out of this war of hearts? Do I get a woman who will love me for all that I am...all that I have to offer, all the love I have to give? Or will she enter my kingdom unable to love...unable to leave the pain and heart break that she has known for so long?
What have I done? I want her as much as anyone can want anything. I want her to be with me...to live my dreams as well as her own..together with me. I want to show her what true love is...for that is what we share together. But although we share that...and so much more...I fear she cannot see me...I fear she cannot look past all the years of suffering she has endured....for with suffering comes a sense of reliance, a sense of comfort...comfort in her own misery. And although I offer her an escape from that realm she has grown so used to..I fear she will not embrace it with all the happiness and love that we feel for eachother when we are together. It is a sad state of affairs when one is bound so deeply to the past that one cannot see the future and what it has to offer.
So what do I do? Inevitability forces her from the one she is with...into my arms maybe? But with a open heart and clear conscience? Im afraid I have caused a un-healable tear within her heart...one that time cannot mend. Even as we live together in happiness and love. I go forward...looking to the future and hoping that we will be together....if only you knew how much we belong together...how wonderful this two joining of souls that are the same feels. We have bonded together from the first day we met...destiny pulling us together, showing us signs of how well the puzzle fits. Its amazing how close two people can get and not even meet...then meet and become that much closer.
But she is shattered....and I wonder if I can offer her asylum so she can heal. I wonder if im doing the right thing by continuing to love her and continuing our relationship. You must understand...there is no doubt in my mind that I love her and want her with me...no doubt in my mind that I accept her for all that she is...good or bad. But what am I doing to her? It was both our decisions that allowed us to fall this deep for each other and it was the need to be together that allowed us to love each other so deeply. This is a rare love we share...One that is so binding that in any other circumstance we would be completely and forever in love...a love so strong that in any other circumstance we would be bound for eternity. But I wonder if she can offer me that now...thought she says she loves me...her heart is torn in two from what has been and what is. And I have caused this. Ignorant in the fact that I let my feelings for her..my love tear a hole into her heart that bleeds like a gaping wound that might scar forever.
And we cannot let each other go...we are so perfectly bound together by all that should be...by all that was meant to be that we both suffer being together. Suffer because my love for her demands that she be with only me...and her love...well, that is why she suffers. Torn between two people she loves with all her heart. But one love is cold and dark and although comforting...it is rotted and distorted...bruised beyond repair and destined to wither into nothingness. While the love we share is vibrant..new, bound by the depths of our souls...as if in some strange way we both new each other in the past.
What have I done to her? Was it me that has caused such screaming pain inside her soul..inside her heart? Or was it inevitability? What will I be taking into my arms every night? a soul that has finally found what it is looking for? Able to finally live the life that it has always dreamed of...with a guy who will be able to fulfill her in every aspect? Or a soul that can never look forward...will always dwell in the past.
I have stolen her from her domain and showed her a kingdom that is awe inspiring to her...a kingdom of magnificence...a kingdom that she will be at peace in. But she only knows her domain..that is what she has lived in her whole life....she accepted what she had...so now i wonder, can she live with me? can she embrace our love for what it is?