chaoticmonkey

Mood : Lonely

Im stuck in a time vortex...

You see I go to Ohio State so most of the women around me are younger then me and not looking for anything serious. The women I do meet are beautiful and young of course...but i end up ruining it because they dont want what i want. They want to be free and have fun. I end up wanting more. The older women, my age, have had so much baggage that it ends up bringing down the relationship. And I know everyone has baggage...but we are talking baggage that seeps into the relationship and affects us. Im lonely....And it sucks cause I know what it is to love...ive loved before...for 6 years of my life i was in a relationship...and it was the best time of my life. It was comfortable...it was relaxing. You could count on the other person being there emotionally, physically and any other way. Now I dont have that and i try too hard to get it back because I know what im missing. And all the teases...the women that are attracted to me for sex or flings...just makes it worse....when all i want is to wake up holding someone and to kiss them and look into there eyes and see...SEE love again.

Am I lost forever? As i slowly fade away...
As i become more heartless...Will I lose sight of the dream?

Im afraid....
If there is one thing in this entire life im afraid of....Its Dying alone
being alone...
forever...

-J-