WTF?
Okay this is the third time that I have typed this blog. So it is not as passionate as the first time. I keep hitting the wrong key.
To start off my day I didn't go to sleep until 10 am this morning. Why I was not stoned, I am unable to go to bed unless I am drunk or stoned. Stoned being the best. Drinking costs me to much money. Everyone I usually by from is out. Have you ever seen Fight Club. My life gets a lot like that if I don't sleep often, CRAZY. Weed is the only thing that helps. Narcotics don't even. I have to high a tolerance. I woke up at noon and could not sleep anymore.
On my way to work today I saw someone throwing live kittens on the highway. Trust me if I could have seen directly who was doing this I would be talking to you from jail today. I had to dodge three kittens. WTF is wrong with people.
So my roomies are going through a divorce. I am trying really hard to be on peaceful ground with both. My brothers wife works with me. So today she started shit with me at work with tons of people around. I really didn't appreciate this since work has been one of my few sanctuaries. I told both of them to FUCK off. Especially since both of them know what I have been going through with lately. I have lost everything that I consider worth living for. Shit it has been only three weeks since I have tried to kill myself.
I really need to figure what to do with myself. I have had a job offer in Sept. to do some Merc work in Thailand. Nothing bad. I am just not sure what to do about my son. I can live a life that is mediocre or a life that movies are made of. I know it sounds strange too but there is only like five SG people in Thailand to hang with. I am used to all my friends here that I can call and hang with. I have always been a loner in my life and am tired of it. I just think if I choose this life I will have no other choice but to be. HELP. What should I do?
Something else. I am celibate, yes. The problem is I really like to go down on woman. I am okay with doing it until I get it right. I am not good at one night stands and am always concerned with my mate. I am not well endowed so I always try to make up for it in other ways. I guess I would be okay with one nighters if I knew the other was okay with it. The prob is that everyone always needs to play games. I don't have the energy for that.
On the subject of being celibate. What is wrong with woman? I have had several woman hit on me since I decided to not have sex. Even two at a time. Yet I feel strange about it. I cant just do it with complete strangers. I don't have any game. WTF?
I swear I think I am a mess!!!
Okay this is the third time that I have typed this blog. So it is not as passionate as the first time. I keep hitting the wrong key.
To start off my day I didn't go to sleep until 10 am this morning. Why I was not stoned, I am unable to go to bed unless I am drunk or stoned. Stoned being the best. Drinking costs me to much money. Everyone I usually by from is out. Have you ever seen Fight Club. My life gets a lot like that if I don't sleep often, CRAZY. Weed is the only thing that helps. Narcotics don't even. I have to high a tolerance. I woke up at noon and could not sleep anymore.
On my way to work today I saw someone throwing live kittens on the highway. Trust me if I could have seen directly who was doing this I would be talking to you from jail today. I had to dodge three kittens. WTF is wrong with people.
So my roomies are going through a divorce. I am trying really hard to be on peaceful ground with both. My brothers wife works with me. So today she started shit with me at work with tons of people around. I really didn't appreciate this since work has been one of my few sanctuaries. I told both of them to FUCK off. Especially since both of them know what I have been going through with lately. I have lost everything that I consider worth living for. Shit it has been only three weeks since I have tried to kill myself.
I really need to figure what to do with myself. I have had a job offer in Sept. to do some Merc work in Thailand. Nothing bad. I am just not sure what to do about my son. I can live a life that is mediocre or a life that movies are made of. I know it sounds strange too but there is only like five SG people in Thailand to hang with. I am used to all my friends here that I can call and hang with. I have always been a loner in my life and am tired of it. I just think if I choose this life I will have no other choice but to be. HELP. What should I do?
Something else. I am celibate, yes. The problem is I really like to go down on woman. I am okay with doing it until I get it right. I am not good at one night stands and am always concerned with my mate. I am not well endowed so I always try to make up for it in other ways. I guess I would be okay with one nighters if I knew the other was okay with it. The prob is that everyone always needs to play games. I don't have the energy for that.
On the subject of being celibate. What is wrong with woman? I have had several woman hit on me since I decided to not have sex. Even two at a time. Yet I feel strange about it. I cant just do it with complete strangers. I don't have any game. WTF?
I swear I think I am a mess!!!
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You are just as fucking awesome as me if not more