chaoticfire

I WANT TO DIE!
Today was the worst day of my life! I am going to kill myself if it is the last thing I do. Luckily I am to big of a pussy to do directly. I might get up the courage eventually! Well today started out as a good day. I had the chance to spend with my boy. Work said I didnt have to go in. So I took it off since he is going to be moving in a couple of weeks to San Francisco. I picked him up off the other ex. Then we had a great time at the new X Men Wolverine movie. Afterwards we went to a park and acted out the movie. He of course was always Sabertooth since I did name him Saber. After the fact that his mom and I met at a sword seminar that I was doing. I then dropped him off at home where my wife and her new family was packing their stuff to move to San Francisco. OUR STUFF! I tried to talk to her about how this hurt and she got pissed and hurt about her feelings. Tempers rose I swung my arm at the air her no where near her and broke the faucet by accident. She ran to her new husband and told my oldest daughter to call the cops. Which she did. I would never hurt her or my kids. I love them to much. Well the cops got there and wouldnt shoot me. I wish they had. MY BABY BOY SAW HIS DADDY HAVING TO TALK TO THE COPS. Something I swore to myself that I would never let him experience like I did. I kind of wonder if my dad went through what I am going through right now. If so I am so sorry for all the things I said or thought about you. My son just saw his dad go from a super hero to a villain in a phone call. I tried to call a few "friends" to come help me during this uncomfortable situation. They were all to busy. You all dont understand I am sure that the only thread of life that I had to hang onto was the fact that my son thought his dad was awesome. Well guess what he now thinks his dad is the bad guy. I played right into his moms crap. I HATE HER and our oldest daughter forever. My ex told her to call the cops. I dont wish them harm or pain in anyway I just hate them that they were part of what made my son see his dadda become the evil man! Thankfully the cops were sympathetic to my situation with the time line of events and all and let me go. Even though I tried to talk them into shooting me. He said no because of my boy. He was awesome his partner I almost punched though he held me back. Well if you read this far I am sorry I am such a whiny bitch and so wow is me. This was just all the things I believed made me a better man but now are all gone. I have nothing to live for I wish the demons would just come and take me away. I think the final straw has broken olong with my sanity!!!!

You know I had a sexy SG worthy girl throw herself at me no strings attached the other day and completely turned her down. Because I still felt like I would be cheating on my wife. What the hell is wrong with me? FUCK!