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chaostasis

Topeka, KS

Member Since 2007

Followers 26 Following 37

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Friday Jun 15, 2007

Jun 15, 2007
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Dear Jess, There are so many things to do that there aren't enough hours in the day. Although you can enjoy the wide range of experiences, a part of you longs for deeper meaning. You may feel preoccupied by all the external noise in your life right now and wish that you had the time and wherewithal to delve into the pleasures that you know are waiting somewhere far away. Be patient; your chance will come. Love, the Aries starcast

Sometimes, I think my horoscope knows me a little too well. I mean, I'm not the kind of person who believes everything that the stars say about her but I believe somethings to be true. I'm an aries. I spend most of my days pretending I'm a ram that's really pissed off when she doesn't get her way. Name me three people who will deny this about me. I'm also a capricorn moon sign. This also makes sense to me because that's my emotional scope. So usually what I'm doing outwardly will line up with what other Aries are up to while what I'm doing inwardly will line up with the Capricorns. I'm a Sagitarrius rising. This is what I blame my bipolar disorder on Literally. When I found out, I called Madeline and was like "Hey, i found out why i'm crazy" lol. Last summer, the Aries horoscope was dead on basically every day. That continued basically until winter. When I went crazy, the capricorn horoscope was pretty much true though so were all of my paranoid suspisions And since about January nothing has seemed to fit except for very occasionally. Today being one of those days.

Anyway. I was so excited to move out yesterday. And then I woke up this morning and started packing and I was still very excited. Then I went to wake Kyle so we could start moving things and he pointed out that we had plenty of time and I was like "oh. alright. you're right." and let him sleep. So I decided to go ahead and pack more things and when I finished that I walked into the kitchen and immediately almost had a panic attack. I have no idea why I do these things I guess I just sort of like things to stay the same and be comfortable. And I really like living around people and being part of a family. So moving out is sort of uncomfortable. It reminds me of this Fiona Apple lyric: "But he's no good at being uncomfortable, so he can't stop staying exactly the same." Sometimes I feel exactly like that and othertimes I get so excited for things to be different and new. I think I just need to believe in myself a little bit. Cos really, I'm probably not going to fall on my face. And it will be so nice to have an apartment in town and not have to drive out north all the time. And I really need to go through this uneasiness about moving out and being insecure about my ability to live by myself-ish now and not in Minneapolis or Wisconsin or Los Angeles or Austin or Chicago. Right? Right.

So that's that. And I sorta wish Kyle would've stayed tonight with me but he'll be here for my first few days at the apartment and he really does need to get back to BSMo. Mrh.

We had a good time last night. We went out to the Dugout with Joey after I got off work. It was dollar margarita and dollar twelve-ounce draw night at the bar so that was cool. Though I don't know that the Dugout would ever elevate itself to preferred bar status in my book. I think right now that list goes something like Pigskins, Bullfrogs (the gage one, i haven't been to the other) and that's it. The bars everywhere else are much better. Like Gatsby's in Carbondale. And plenty of places in KCMo. Anyway, so the night went well and Joey and Kyle got along really well. I should've thought out better how that was gonna go, cos it was mostly just the boys talking about sports. Ahhh. Not that I can't have a good conversation about sports, but most of my sports conversation I already have with Kyle so I just sat smiling to myself. Cos I like it when a boy can carry a conversation about basketball.

I'm a basketball fan now. Did I mention that yet? I realized it when I was flying from Newark to Cleveland and I read an article in Maxim about Allen Iverson by choice. And I enjoyed it. I got a page in and giggled and then my head was like "Alert! Alert! You now like basketball! Fuck!" I mean, less dramatically. I also read about the playoffs whilst in Germany because I cared about their outcome. I'm such a girl though. Liking the Cavaliers cos I haven't put much thought into it and LeBron James is an icon. And Kyle's so cute about LeBron James. If you'd have asked me a year ago to pick a favorite basketball team by force I'd have said the NJ Nets. Cos they're part of the same corporation that owns the Yankees. Ugh. Maybe someday I'll get my own opinion about the sport.. but for now there's only two teams to choose between anyway smile and it will probably do me some good to start cheering for a losing team.

By the way: NY Yankees 33-31 (.516) That, my friend, is a winning record. So there. And they're still 8 games back in the AL East, but I believe. Do you believe? Of course you do. Last night, Kyle dreamt he accidentally cheated on me by making out with Rachel McAdams while we dated in high school. This lead to a discussion about our "lists" of people we should get a free pass on. I realized Derek Jeter is probably still on mine. Oh my

I want to take a year off between my undergrad degree and my graduate degree and live in Kansas City. Just because I love it so much. But let's face it. I was drunk when I first thought that would be a good idea and I know that there's no way it would be a good idea. For one thing, I'd fall madly in love and never be able to leave it. So here's to hoping Rockhurst is hiring when I'm looking for a career.
wren001:
Well, I'm a gemini, so I guess I have a built-in bipolar disorder wink

I'm fine. Taking care of the daughter while the wife works, which is fun, except for today when said kid only sleeps for 20 minutes instead of 2 hours.

I'm doing some reading in US 19th century popular culture. Wow, we're on whacked out country!

How are you? How was Europe???
Jun 15, 2007
gainsbarre68:
I'm an Aries too, but I think a Cancer moon. I have to check on that, because the moon supposedly can make a big difference... actually, if it makes any difference, it all makes a difference. Astrology is just not the *ars* it used to be in the Medieval period... *sigh* I'd like to write a book sometime on actual astrological _praxis_ from about 1200-1500 sometime, including how many medieval philosophers and theologians (incl. Thomas Aquinas) subscribed to the opinion that the stars have an influence ... at least on our bodies and, through our bodies, they indirectly influence the soul. Although according to Aquinas, they can never erase free will entirely. The stars incline [men to act], they do not necessitate [anything], as the old saying goes.

Did you all get to Europe, or is that later?

I too am very pleased by the whole Yankees run in the last several weeks, even though I can't follow the games very well here in Germany.

I think it really started after (or while) they won 2 out of 3 against Boston, don't you think? I think this may sound corny, but it showed them that they actually are a pretty damn good team, when they really focus.

Lizardam, one of my friends here on SG, is a big fan of the Mets and a real Yankees hater. It's nice to find someone who is a Yankees fan and still has a crush on Derek. He's pretty damn irresistable, I think. If I were a woman I know I'd be thinking about him in his non-baseball capacities. biggrin

I'm glad to see Richardson brought Wren back from the dead, too. Now we can continue to politely disagree on your page about misogynistic tendancies among the ancient Greeks!! biggrin
Jun 16, 2007

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