My mom went out and bought me a new Turtle Fur hat yesterday. I lost my first one sometime last winter, no doubt while stumbling, drunk, out of a friend's car. This made me very, very sad. My first Turtle Fur hat was a gift from my friend Jen, whose own Turtle Fur hat I admired quite a bit. She didn't know it, but Jen was my first crush in college. In fact, I had a very naughty dream about her my first night there. So, without knowing any of this, during Christmas break our freshman year she got me a Turtle Fur hat of my very own. It was the only hat of its type I've ever enjoyed wearing. It was snug, not tall and stupid like most winter hats, and it was black, and warm. I treasured that hat, I really did.

Then I lost it.

But now I have a new one, 'cause my mommy loves me. Merry Christmas to me.