chanel

There are many many many many many different things that I want to be doing during the day. At times, work is not one of them.

Dont get me wrong, I love work. Jesus I am exicted to be there. Couldnt you tell? But sometimes, its nice to have some time to yourself. nothing beats that. right?

this is the car I now own:


wow. I wished my car looked that brand new.
Its a ghetto car. Let me tell you. I have no e-brake, no front suspension, theres a huge crack in the front windshield, annnnnnnnnnnnnnnd...I need to rust proof the thing. Shes old old old, but dear god, I love her to death. Ive named her Looshkin, affectionately after the dear cat I adore in the Bear comics that I own. So from now on, when I say Looshkin, you all will go....ahhhh..yes.

or something like that.

So, prom is around the corner. Im quite excited, really. But I probably will be quite tired. And incredibly broke. Because with Looshkin, comes money, and I have none at this moment. It sucks cause I cant go anywhere. To spend money, cause on the way there, IM DOING IT BY BURNING GAS DAMMIT.

But I am exicted. Im shooting two new sets, which will be fun. I like doing that sort of shit, cause I get to be creative. Lots of fun.

Theres alot Id like to say here, about many things, but I have no energy. I have to save the rest of it so I can write a decent email to a dear dear dear man of mine. Mr. Holden Caulfield. duh.

this is how I feel half the time:


I did see my dear friend Hobbs though. We are quite the team, he and I. Drunk times had by all.

My heart hurts. Seriously. It wont go away, its like this constant pain in the middle of my chest, Im starting to worry about it.
I quit smoking. I wonder how long this will last for.

bye bye.
Jane.

edited to add:
Matthew Good. I love you. But especially your old songs, because thats what makes you more wonderfuly in my eyes.

it's getting awfully tight
and I am tired of feeling this way
and if I feel I feel what should I feel
if birds don't fly straight
its too bad I carry it with me
it is far too late to let it show
hues of night light down in the soft light
and they call to me as they go asunder

six thirty-eight is too far away
last impressions stretched across a field
blowing this way
and they'd tell me birds don't fly straight
so I will carry it with me
I will carry it with me to think about it

snow doesn't fall on the ocean
a suicidal man doesn't hesitate
greater love has nothing to do with devotion
and birds

birds don't fly straight

and are you watching me from high above
did you lock me away in your heart
and does that love struggle against you
is it, is it fighting against you
and I am writing you a letter today
it'll never come, itll never come if I am tired of feeling this way
so I carry it with me
I will carry it with me

carry it with me
if you think about it

snow doesn't fall on the ocean
a suicidal man doesn't hesitate
greater love has nothing to do with devotion
and birds

birds don't fly straight

snow doesn't fall on the ocean

and a suicidal man doesn't, he doesnt hesitate

greater love has nothing to do with devotion

and birds dont fly straight