Wednesday Jun 02, 2004

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*epiphany* followed by a huge lightbulb!!!

I am in a co-dependent relationship

My sponsor and I have talked in length and through working my 4th step recently along with in length conversations with some of Matthew's band members.
They are very worried about him and his love addiction to me.
See, he is not an addict or an alcoholic but he has all the ism's and if he was a truly healthy man he would have never taken me back after all the lying, cheating etc.
He NEEDS me to survive and THAT is fucking scary.
I'm reading a great book my sponsor gave me "Is it love or is it addiction?"
She also said to me that most AA's will suggest that I get out of the relationship immediately but on a woman to woman level she suggested that I give it an honest chance.
I was with him before I got into sobriety and we both have been through hell and back together.
I now realize that I was in denial about so much concerning our relationship.
This does not make me love him any less, in fact I feel that I love him more. I want him to understand and accept just how sick he is and I am willing to work together with him to learn a new way of life for the both of us, a healthy way.

Any suggestions or comments are more than welcome.


VIEW 9 of 9 COMMENTS
wardy:
You like Emo now??

i have black hair. i'll be posting pics soon enough.

hope things get better with matt. my mattias and i merge and purge, repeat. he's introvertive.

love is obsession. there has to be some reliance.
oki:
well your not in denial anymore which is a good thing. if both party's are willing and mature seek some counseling. and in my personal opinion it takes 2 to be co-dependent. somebody's gotta feed into the others shit. good luck and keep it honest. don't give something a shot that does'nt have a shot just for the sake of keeping the familiar. thanks for sharing i get alot out of your honesty.

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