chamber

So, I had a dream last night that I was a porn director. I had to work out the "script" details and choreography, as well as take care of the location issues. It was actually a really funny dream. Unfortunately, I didn't actually dream the filming, though (wtf, brain?). But, it got me thinking. How does one become a porno film director? Exactly how much directing knowledge do you need? Can you just say, "alright ladies, go at it?" Maybe that should be my future ambition. All of this graduate school bullshit is just a waste of time. Everyone knows the porno industry is a huge cash cow. Sigh, maybe someday.

Anyway, I got back from Maryland today. It was a super-long drive, but I got to see my Melissa and her girlfriend. They live in this really old farm house out in the middle of nowhere. It's pretty cool, except they have a mouse problem. Oh well. For the price they're paying for a house that big, it's really a non-issue.

But, driving for so long by yourself is a bad idea. I spent way too much time just thinking over everything in my life. I hear all the advice that everyone gives me that I refuse to listen to. Melissa keeps asking why I'm wasting my time on this, and I really don't have a good answer. People ask me how long I'm going to wait, and I've decided that I'm waiting until January 31, which will have made it a full year. The whole situation just reminds me of "Betterman" by Pearl Jam. Sigh. So, there's really nothing else that's new. Just f'in tired, and Christmas is way too soon. I have to do a few last minute shopping trips.

Oh, but in good news, I found a check that I forgot to deposit, which is why my finances didn't add up. heh, I thought I magically spent $400. It's actually not that far-fetched.